The Knight's Tale

You are a knight in shining [[armor]]. Today is like any other day. Go to [[work]] and do what your [[boss]] tells you to do.

Of course, you are a knight. You basically kill people while still being chivarous. Fun, isn't it. No? I thought so too. [[Who's my boss?->boss]]

Your boss is the Duke of McDonald, a rotund man with many friends..and enemies. Today, he wants you to: [[slay a dragon]]

Your helmet stuck with red plumes, your mail bordered in gold, and your coat of arms, a yellow hamburger in a blood-red background, displayed on your armor and your shield. Also, you have a [[horse]]. [[back->knight]]

You purchased a large stallion. It is fitted with a saddle and reins, of course, as well as a flowing coat covered with your coat of arms. [[back->knight]]

the stone walls and turrets of the castle stretch up into the cloudy sky and down beside the stenchy moat. the gate opens up into a lively courtyard. [[back->boss]]

"Huzzah, I say! Slay the foul beast! For chivalry!!!" ~Unknown Knight With the hooves of the horse striking the ground and the lance teetering in one gloved hand, you set forth in all your glory to slay the dragon. [[Time passes.]]

[[More time passes.]]

What is that I see in the distance? a village! They must know of the dragon! Should you [[detour into the village?]] Or [[continue towards the dragon's cave]]?

Your horse slows down into a trot and you slip down from the saddle into the dusty little village courtyard. You can see [[peasants]] and [[cottages]].

You spur your horse towards the dragon's lair. Finally, after many hours of jolting in the saddle, you arrive at the [[cave]].

"Hello, good sirs! And what might be your names?" ~Common greeting You walk up to a group of ragged [[farmers]]. They bow in greeting, and stop to see what might be the matter.

Straw roofs and wooden walls, with brick chimmneys and paned windows letting out the smell of porridge and ale. [[back->detour into the village?]]

"Hello, my good men," you say. Talk about: [[the weather]] [[the crops]] [[the village]] [[the dragon]]

"how's the weather?" "Slight rains. It's rare to see a sunny day like today." [[back->farmers]]

"And how be your crops?" "Fine, fine." The farmers seem to be ignoring the fact that half of their crops were barbecued by the dragon. [[back->farmers]]

"And how be your fine village?" "It would be better, if you would *hurry up and kill the dragon, for goodness sakes!*" Not the reception you were hoping for. [[back->farmers]]

"Who is the dragon?" "A foul red creature. He sulks in his lair just beyond, and sleeps in his mountains of treasure on the weekdays. Sometimes, he flies out and flames all the crops." Something must be done. [[Go to the cave->continue towards the dragon's cave]]

The otherwise dark cave is illuminated by the heaps of [[gold]]. Rolling around in his treasure is the [[dragon]].

"Why 'ullo govna," the huge dragon exclaims in an extremely British accent. "Noice to meet you." "What to do, what to do?" ~Famous person [[speak to dragon]] [[vanquish dragon]]

"Nice to meet you to, mister." "Well thas noice to 'ear. And wot be you doin' 'ear this toime 'o day?" "Well, actually.." [[befriend dragon]] [[threaten dragon]] [[vanquish dragon]]

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHH" You spur your horse into a gallop and cock your lance into position, aiming for the right eye of the beast. The dragon roars in surprise, then smokes up his mouth and nostrils like a cigarette lighter. But too late. The dragon's last fire dies down as your lance spikes through the dragon's eyes, and pokes into his brain. A fatal wound. [[Well, what now?->after slaying dragon]]

Gold. Mountains of precious, precious gold. Gleaming in the dimly-lit cave. [[back->cave]]

"Well, actually...I was wonderin' if you wanted to come to my house for tea!" "Tea? Oy luv tea!" You and the dragon fly off into the clouds. OF COURSE YOU DON'T. WHAT ARE YOU, DAFT? YOU'RE A KNIGHT. YOU KILL DRAGONS. OR IN THIS CASE, YOU GET KILLED BY DRAGONS. -the end-

"Well, actually..if you don't surrender, I'll run you through!" The dragon pays no attention. He sips a cup of tea standing in the corner and spouts out a huge flame of fire. [[block with your shield!]] [[stop, drop, and roll!]] [[run from the flame!]]

The villages arrive at the scene. "We heard the noise! What happened?" "Get the carts and call the Duke. We're rich!" [[Continue->feast]]

"Foul beast, you won't catch me!" You block with your fireprooof shield, and the flames go around you. Now what? [[Charge 'im!]] [[Slice!]] [[Intimidate.]]

You stop, drop, and roll on the cave floor to rid yourself of the flames. However, you are roasted within your suit of armor. -the end-

You run and hide behind a pile of gold. The flame passes you. Now what? [[Charge 'im!]] [[Slice!]] [[Intimidate.]]

You climb into your horse's saddle and point your lance directly at the dragon's mouth. The flames engulf you but you hold up your shield. Faster. Faster. Faster. The lance pokes through the dragon's mouth and into his intestines. [[The dragon is dead.->after slaying dragon]]

You whip out your sword from the scabbard and slice your way around the dragon's claws and tail. blocking the flames with your shield, you reach the dragon and stab it in the stomach. [[He is vanquished.->after slaying dragon]]

That doesn't work. The dragon flames you and then crushes you with one of his talons. Then he flies off to burn some more villages. -the end-

You bring to the castle: -the dragon's head -your suit of armor -your now frightened stallion -LOTS AND LOTS OF GOLD It is time to feast at the [[table]]. There are [[performers]]. The [[Duke]] and his guests applaud your bravery.

Filled with pork heads, cakes, and roast swan. [[back->feast]]

Jesters, musicians, and bards alike. [[back->feast]]

While gorging himself, the Duke pats you on the back. And the tale of the brave knight ends. ******** -the end-