You are 16 years old. You have everything going for you it would seem. Addiction is alive and well in your household, but you aren't aware. Fights between your [[mother]] and [[father]] begin to escalate, and it really begins to have an impact on your life, but at a mere 16 years of age you really aren't sure what to do. You fear you may only make things worse, so you weigh your options carefully. Remember, you know nothing about the disease model or processes of addiction.
[[You say nothing at all.]]
[[You try to speak up knowing there will surely be repercussions.]]Your mother is a successful registered nurse. She works hard and uses no drugs whatsoever. She drinks from time to time, but only in moderation. She loves her marriage, but she has been aware of that drug use is alive and well in the home and wants it to stop. Even she has no idea how to address the problem, so even though you're not aware of it, you're not truly alone.You're father defines what "hero" means in your eyes. He has two Master's Degrees and reads, writes, and speaks 5 languages fluently. He is brilliant at English composition and seems like he has the world at his fingertips. Unbeknownst to you, he has formed an opiate addiction that has taken over his life. Even though you don't notice, things are falling apart. It is taking a serious toll on their marriage. As time goes on, the ensuing problems continue to manifest. You are sure that you wouldn't have been heard anyways. You are a child in a world of adult issues. Sometimes these things have a way of working out on their own... right? Wrong. In the end, they end up having a "final blow" type of argument that leads to a vicious divorce. You have to make a choice now.
[[Stay living at the home you grew up in with your mother.]]
[[Go with your father who is very fond of you but has been suffering from rage and outbursts due to his opiate addiction.]]You said what was on your mind, but it wasn't recieved or listened to. You knew this would happen anyways. It would have been better to remain silent.At least there is security here. You love your father, but this is the only option you have. As time goes on, your father has his own place, but it is dismal. He has also lost his jobs as a linguist and English professor. He is slipping deeper, and deeper into depression. You try to maintain a relationship, but as time goes on, he starts to become too far gone from reality. A few months down the road, you are faced with a decision.
[[You go and hang out with your friends and get drunk because that is what you and your friends like to do.]]
[[You go and stay the night with your father on Valentine's Day Eve, who is so blistered on drugs and depressd recently that he fails to engage meaningfully the past several times you have been there.]]You are nervous about this and have been dissuaded by your mother. In the end, you are a minor and she has the final say.You remember that you forgot your sleep over with your dad (but honestly you skipped out).
[[You just forget about it all together and you will see him when you see him.]]
[[You feel bad about not going and decide to go check on him the next day... Valentine's Day. Afterall, that is the day for couples and he is alone and depressed.]]You honestly forgot about this even though he called you a couple of nights before and you promised you would be there. Having a good time seems to be the better option. It causes you to forget about your family issues anyways.You couldnt live with yourself by doing this. You love your dad and know that he needs someone. The only real consistent person he has had in his life is you and his strange neighbor.You walk in and find your father has committed suicide. You fall apart. You are hurt, confused, and unable to make sense of what you are seeing. Everything feel like a dream up to, and past his funeral. You almost immediately fall in with a worse crowd because your lack of care all but extinguishes. An individual introduces you to a drug called "methamphetamine".
[[You decide not to do this because two wrongs dont make a right.]]
[[You yourself are now depressed and have no regard for life. You "think to hell with it" in your immature, destroyed mind.]] You want to do right, but the PTSD has really taken your brain hostage.You choose to give it a whirl. It works in spades in helping you to cope and not care for/deal with your feelings. It has instantly became a savior to you and your ability to carry on.
[[You stop using after several uses.]]
[[You continue to use because it fixes everything.]]You can't stop at this point. You are now addicted.You now can't control that which controls you. You start to become a shell of what you once were. Hope is a fake word that now has no meaning. Weeks turn to months, and months turn to years. Your use increases and methods of use go to a dangerous extreme.
[[You are not being forced, but you have the chance to get help.]]
[[You keep using because that is the nature of the beast.]]The only thing that is free-willed now is meth. There is no conscious choice to stop on your own recognizance.You lose absolutely EVERYTHING. Your life implodes and buries you in the rubble. Your family has given up on you, you have been homeless, and there is no visible way out. You are finally caught after years of wreckless use, and this forces you into a situation where you are truly accountable for the first time.
[[You play the part until you can get high again.]]
[[You see your life for what it is and take full advantage of the situation because you're finally clean enough to think straight and maybe make a decent choice.]]NO WAY! WE ARE DONE WITH THIS SH#% !!!!!You do EVERYTHING in your power to see this through. Rehabs, programs, honesty, integrity, faith, family, and accountability become your greatest allies and cheering section! You maintain sobriety for several years and have finally overcome the thing that destroyed you most: Not your father's suicide, but drug addiction!!!!
[[you decide to stay the course and continue working a manual labor job.]]
[[You shoot for the stars and change your destiny by enrolling in college to become a lawyer.]]Not a chance. If the stars can be changed, YOU CHANGE THEM!!![[This task is far too big. No individual with a background as tainted as yours could ever accomplish this.]]
[[You put your head down and go full steam ahead!!!]]Negativity breeds doubt. You have no room for that!To be continued.... ;)