Good evening, and welcome to Pizza The Action's online ordering system. My name is Sam and I'll be taking your order today.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Start2");
},
3500
);
%>Hello.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Are you there?");
},
2500
);
%>Ok then.
<%
s.sizeVariable = "none";
s.baseVariable = "none";
s.topping1Variable = "none";
s.topping2Variable = "none";
s.topping3Variable = "none";
s.topping4Variable = "none";
%>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Sizecheck");
},
2500
);
%>Are you there?
[[We are...]]
[[Yes]]Ok, cool. So, do you want to order pizza or something?
[[Yes->Yes2]]
[[How...]]
[[...pizza.]]
[[...to eat...]]
Sure thing, buddy. So, about that pizza?
[[Sure.->I would like to order a pizza]]
[[No, really...]]Good - I mean, that's what we sell.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("It would be weird...");
},
2500
);
%>
[[...pizza.->...haha lol just kidding.]]...ok. Let's get that pizza on order, ok?
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Pizza Order");
},
2500
);
%>You're really two cats?
[[Yes->two cats]]
[[No!->Sure.]]
[[...who want...]]
[[...haha lol just kidding.]][[...with thumbs.]]
[[...and not two cats.->...haha lol just kidding.]]Uh, well, great. So... pizza?
[[Yes please.->I would like to order a pizza]][[...two cats...]]
[[...a regular human...]]I mean, it would be weird if you had messaged here thinking it was a hair salon. Or a vet.
[[VET BAD]]
[[Pizza->I would like to order a pizza]]I'm sorry, what?
[[NO VET->Vet1]]
[[NO TAKE TO VET->Vet1]]What size would you like?
[[XXL (16 slices)->XXL]]
[[XL (12 slices)->XL]]
[[L (10 slices)->L]]
[[M (8 slices)->M]]
[[S (6 slices)->S]]
NO VET
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Vet2");
},
1000
);
%>...Right, so, that order...
[[Yes->Yes3]]
[[How...]][[...are you?]]
[[...do I do that?->I would like to order a pizza]]...I'm fine.
[[How...->How2]]
[[Pizza.->I would like to order a pizza]][[...are you really?]]
[[...do I order pizza?->I would like to order a pizza]]
Honestly?
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Feelings1");
},
3000
);
%>Could be worse, buddy. I've got a stable job. In this economy, that's nothing to complain about. Well, nothing except the hours. The boss. The wages, sheesh. The customers, eh...
[[Lol]]
[[Pizza?]]
[[Try...->Try]]
That... that stings, buddy. Laughing at me - I'm here to take your order, y'know.
[[You suck->Lol3]]
[[I'm sorry]]Wow, that's... that's kind of on the nose after what I just said about customers.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Insensitive");
},
1500
);
%>Can you say anything else?
[[Yes->Yes4]]
[[No]]
[[How...]]Very funny.
[[Yes->Yes5]]I'm going to end this conversation unless you start ordering a pizza.
[[No!]]
[[Pizza!->I would like to order a pizza]]D'you know what? Never mind. Do you want a pizza or not?
[[Yes->Yes7]]
[[No->No2]]Well, do you think you could use your powers of speech to...
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Yes6");
},
3000
);
%>...now I'm not sure if you're playing with me...
[[Yes->Yes8]]
[[Pizza?->I would like to order a pizza]]Ok. I'm going to end this conversation, then.
[[Pizza!->I would like to order a pizza]]
[[No!->No!]]Make your mind up, buddy. Pizza or no pizza.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Chatbot1");
},
2000
);
%>NeeVEr VEET
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Vet3");
},
1000
);
%>fdsahjkfdsaVWETgfda
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Vet4");
},
3500
);
%>...you okay, buddy? You need a minute?
[[We are fine.]]
[[I am a human...->...a regular human...]]Ok. Ok. That was... intense. Listen, sounds like you're going through some stuff... do you need someone to talk to... to call you or something?
[[Uh...]]
[[Pizza.->I would like to order a pizza]]
Yeah, y'know what, you're right.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("LastTime1");
},
1500
);
%>My supervisor's been on my back about doing that since... last time.
[[Pizza please!->I would like to order a pizza]]
[[Last time?]]Yeah... listen, I shouldn't really be talking about this.
[[Go on...?]]
[[Pizza!->I would like to order a pizza]]I shouldn't really, but...
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("LastTime2");
},
1500
);
%>Wow. I mean, identifying as two cats is kinda cool, and I respect your life choices. But this is a pizza ordering chat.
[[Two cats?->Furry?]]
[[Pizza->I would like to order a pizza]]I should have gone back to college, buddy. I'm earning minimum wage here. If you say 'yes', I'm gonna start the order. If you say 'no', I'm hanging up.
[[Yes->I would like to order a pizza]]
[[No->Hello?]]Y'know, I'm a human. I'm not some chatbot.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Chatbot2");
},
2500
);
%>
<img src="https://i.imgur.com/QMougl3.png" width="904" height="720">
[[Try again?->Title]]I'm a living, breathing human being with feelings. Feelings you're playing with, buddy.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Chatbot3");
},
3000
);
%>Just rude, y'know. And these conversations are recorded. Printed out for the shift manager.
[[Lol]]
[[I'm sorry]]Yeah, y'know. I've got a friend who swears blind he's got the soul of a wolf, or something, but only on the weekends. But hey, live and let live, that's my motto.
[[I am...]]You're right though... I am here to take your order, I guess.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Insensitive2");
},
2000
);
%>So... yeah. I guess we can get that pizza order going now.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("I would like to order a pizza");
},
2500
);
%>Please select an option from below to continue.
[[Hello]]
[[I would like to order a pizza]]
Brave choice for someone relying on an anonymous stranger to prepare food for them, but sure.
[[Try...->Try]]
[[Sorry...->...please...]]Just so you know, these conversations are all saved and monitored. We've got your number and I'm blocking it now.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("You suck2");
},
2500
);
%>Well... thanks for saying that. I accept your apology. Let's just get some pizza on the go, ok?
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Pizza Order");
},
1500
);
%>[[...two cats!->...a furry!]]
[[just one cat.->just a cat.]]Is that why there was a little paws there?
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Furry2");
},
3500
);
%>
Ok, buddy, you live your truth. Maybe it's like 70s slang, yeah? I'm a... hip... cat? Too.
Let's see if we can't whisk-er you up something to eat... eh. Let's get that pizza cookin'.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Pizza Order");
},
4500
);
%>This guy was on the chat, ordering pizza, and he seemed like he was having a bad time.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("LastTime3");
},
3000
);
%>So I ring him - it feeds the number through to us automatically - and he's in pieces. Crying down the phone.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("LastTime4");
},
3500
);
%>One thing leads to another, and before I know it I'm offering to meet him. Not for... not for what you're thinking. Just to have someone there for him, y'know?
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("LastTime5");
},
5500
);
%>He seemed nice. We had coffee. Coffee tasted weird.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("LastTime6");
},
3500
);
%>Anyway, next thing you know, I'm waking up, one kidney short, two towns over.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("LastTime7");
},
3500
);
%>And that's why we don't call folks any more. So. Pizza?
[[Pizza.->I would like to order a pizza]]Good luck ordering pizza again in this town. I'm banning you from ordering with Pizza The Action. Enjoy your substandard non-handcrafted pizza and questionable kitchen hygiene.
[[Wait-->HANG UP]]Time for a base. I'm contractually obliged to advertise to you our new Meat Rod Base - a regular stuffed-crust base with a circular 'sausage' where the cheese would be. "Meat Rod Base-"
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Base2");
},
4000
);
%><%
s.sizeVariable = "extra, extra large";
%>
Ok, you want your pizza to be <%=
s.sizeVariable
%>. No worries. Hope you're having a party.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Base");
},
2500
);
%><%
s.sizeVariable = "extra large";
%>
Ok, you want your pizza to be <%=
s.sizeVariable
%>. No worries. Enough for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Base");
},
2500
);
%><%
s.sizeVariable = "large";
%>
Ok, you want your pizza to be <%=
s.sizeVariable
%>. No worries. Our most popular size by survey, probably because no-one ever wants to admit to having a medium or small.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Base");
},
3000
);
%><%
s.sizeVariable = "medium";
%>
Ok, you want your pizza to be <%=
s.sizeVariable
%>. No worries. Our most psychic size. Heh.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Base");
},
2500
);
%><%
s.sizeVariable = "small";
%>
Ok, you want your pizza to be <%=
s.sizeVariable
%>. No worries. That's the fun size pizza. Sure you don't want two?
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Base");
},
2500
);
%>ugh
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Base3");
},
1500
);
%>"-Get Rodded.Ⓡ"
I hate that. Anyway. What base do you want?
[[Crispy Italian Thin->CIT]]
[[Regular Chunky->RC]]
[[Texan BBQ->BBQ]]
[[Meat RodⓇ->MR]]<%
s.baseVariable = "crispy Italian thin";
%>
Ok, you want the <%=
s.baseVariable
%> base. Got it. Wafer thin and it'll probably snap when we fold it to fit it through the letterbox.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Toppings");
},
3000
);
%><%
s.baseVariable = "regular chunky";
%>
Ok, you want the <%=
s.baseVariable
%> base. Got it. Well thicc, as the young folks say.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Toppings");
},
2500
);
%><%
s.baseVariable = "Texan BBQ";
%>
Ok, you want the <%=
s.baseVariable
%> base. You've got it. Yeehaw. Ride 'em, cowboy. Actually, don't. Riding a pizza could lead to serious burns.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Toppings");
},
3000
);
%><%
s.baseVariable = "Meat RodⓇ";
%>
...really? Ok. One <%=
s.baseVariable
%> base. Got it. I hope you enjoy consuming something the exact same dimensions as your small intestine. Both width and length.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Toppings");
},
3000
);
%>Ok, the fun bit. We offer a simplified menu - each of these options covers a quarter of your pizza.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Toppings2");
},
3500
);
%>
So, for example, selecting 'Vegetables' gives you a range of red and green peppers, onions, mushrooms, olives and sweetcorn. None of that pineapple rubbish.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Toppings3");
},
4500
);
%>
If you want something removed, let us know in a follow-up email. What do you want on your first quarter?
[[Meat]]
[[Vegetable]]
[[Hawaiian]]
[[Cheese]]<%
s.topping1Variable = "meat";
%>
Ok, and your second?
[[Meat->Meat2]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable2]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian2]]
[[Cheese->Cheese2]]<%
s.topping1Variable = "hawaiian";
%>
Ok, and your second?
[[Meat->Meat2]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable2]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian2]]
[[Cheese->Cheese2]]<%
s.topping1Variable = "cheese";
%>
Ok, and your second?
[[Meat->Meat2]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable2]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian2]]
[[Cheese->Cheese2]]<%
s.topping1Variable = "vegetable";
%>
Ok, and your second?
[[Meat->Meat2]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable2]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian2]]
[[Cheese->Cheese2]]<%
s.topping2Variable = "meat";
%>
Uh-huh, ok. And your third?
[[Meat->Meat3]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable3]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian3]]
[[Cheese->Cheese3]]<%
s.topping2Variable = "vegetable";
%>
Uh-huh, ok. And your third?
[[Meat->Meat3]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable3]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian3]]
[[Cheese->Cheese3]]<%
s.topping2Variable = "hawaiian";
%>
Uh-huh, ok. And your third?
[[Meat->Meat3]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable3]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian3]]
[[Cheese->Cheese3]]<%
s.topping2Variable = "cheese";
%>
Uh-huh, ok. And your third?
[[Meat->Meat3]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable3]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian3]]
[[Cheese->Cheese3]]<%
s.topping3Variable = "meat";
%>
...aaand your last?
[[Meat->Meat4]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable4]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian4]]
[[Mice]]
[[Cheese->Cheese4]]
<%
s.topping3Variable = "vegetable";
%>
...aaand your last?
[[Meat->Meat4]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable4]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian4]]
[[Mice]]
[[Cheese->Cheese4]]<%
s.topping3Variable = "hawaiian";
%>
...aaand your last?
[[Meat->Meat4]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable4]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian4]]
[[Mice]]
[[Cheese->Cheese4]]<%
s.topping3Variable = "cheese";
%>
...aaand your last?
[[Meat->Meat4]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable4]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian4]]
[[Mice]]
[[Cheese->Cheese4]]<%
s.topping4Variable = "meat";
%>
Ok, got it.
<% if (s.topping1Variable == "meat" && s.topping2Variable == "meat" && s.topping3Variable == "meat" && s.topping4Variable == "meat") { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Basecheck1");
},
1500
);
%>
<% } else { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Summary");
},
1500
);
%>
<% } %>
<%
s.topping4Variable = "vegetable";
%>
Ok, got it.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Summary");
},
1500
);
%>
<%
s.topping4Variable = "hawaiian";
%>
Ok, got it.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Summary");
},
1500
);
%>
<%
s.topping4Variable = "cheese";
%>
Ok, got it.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Summary");
},
1500
);
%>
Ok, whatever buddy. It's your pizza.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Summary3");
},
2500
);
%>
You want one <%=
s.sizeVariable
%> <%=
s.baseVariable
%> topped with <%=
s.topping1Variable
%>, <%=
s.topping2Variable
%>, <%=
s.topping3Variable
%> and <%=
s.topping4Variable
%>?
<% if (s.sizeVariable == "weirdly long") { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("weirdlylong2");
},
3000
);
%>
<% } else { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Summary2");
},
3000
);
%>
<% } %>
Ok, well we've already got your address from last time, and your card on file. Are we ok to use that?
[[Yes->Summary4]]
[[Give pizza->Summary4]]
[[Feed us->Summary4]]Ok! Well, I'd love to say it's been a pleasure. Your pizza's being made right now and will be with you shortly.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Summary5");
},
3000
);
%>
Don't forget to take a picture and send it to us for our socials!
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Summary 5.5");
},
3000
);
%>
<% if (s.sizeVariable == "extra, extra large") { %>
<img src="https://i.imgur.com/oGqAnmx.png" width="904" height="720">
<% } %>
<% if (s.sizeVariable == "extra large") { %>
<img src="https://i.imgur.com/KodkorW.png" width="904" height="720">
<% } %>
<% if (s.sizeVariable == "large") { %>
<img src="https://i.imgur.com/LIbwnS6.png" width="904" height="720">
<% } %>
<% if (s.sizeVariable == "medium") { %>
<img src="https://i.imgur.com/f2vwnLj.png" width="904" height="720">
<% } %>
<% if (s.sizeVariable == "small") { %>
<img src="https://i.imgur.com/BcgyfVU.png" width="904" height="720">
<% } %>
You found a regular pizza. Congratulations - this alone is an achievement for two cats! But there are three special pizzas to find - can you find them all?
[[Start over->Title]]
[[Skip to Pizza Order->I would like to order a pizza]]Ok, sure. Type in what you're looking for. We'll do what we can.
[[99]]
9999
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("999");
},
1500
);
%>
Are you just leaning on the 9 key?
[[99999]]
<img src="https://i.imgur.com/7GElwzv.png" width="904" height="720">
[[Begin->Instructions1]]
Ok, buddy, <%
s.sizeVariable = "weirdly long";
%>
you want your pizza to be <%=
s.sizeVariable
%>. We'll see what we can do.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Base");
},
3500
);
%>So you want one <%=
s.sizeVariable
%> <%=
s.baseVariable
%> topped with <%=
s.topping1Variable
%>, <%=
s.topping2Variable
%>, <%=
s.topping3Variable
%> and <%=
s.topping4Variable
%>?
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("ALLMEAT2");
},
3000
);
%><img src="https://i.imgur.com/tI9khAm.png" width="904" height="720">
You found one of the special pizzas! Congratulations - a good day to be two cats! There are three special pizzas in total - can you find them all?
[[Start over->Title]]
[[Skip to Pizza Order->I would like to order a pizza]]Ok, whatever buddy. It's your pizza.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("ALLMEAT3");
},
2500
);
%>
Ok, well we've already got your address from last time, and your card on file. Are we ok to use that?
[[Yes->ALLMEAT4]]
[[Definitely->ALLMEAT4]]
[[Give pizza->ALLMEAT4]]Ok! Well, I'd love to say it's been a pleasure. Your pizza's being made right now and will be with you shortly.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("ALLMEAT5");
},
3000
);
%>
Don't forget to take a picture and send it to us for our socials! Seriously. I want to see what this thing looks like.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("ALLMEAT5.5");
},
3000
);
%>You want one <%=
s.sizeVariable
%> <%=
s.baseVariable
%> topped with <%=
s.topping1Variable
%>, <%=
s.topping2Variable
%>, <%=
s.topping3Variable
%> and <%=
s.topping4Variable
%>?
<% if (s.sizeVariable == "weirdly long" && s.baseVariable == "Meat RodⓇ" && s.topping1Variable == "meat" && s.topping2Variable == "meat" && s.topping3Variable == "meat" && s.topping4Variable == "meat") { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("weirdlylongmeat2");
},
3000
);
%>
<% } else { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("weirdlylong2");
},
3000
);
%>
Ok, whatever buddy. It's your pizza.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("weirdlylong3");
},
2500
);
%>
Ok, well we've already got your address from last time, and your card on file. Are we ok to use that?
[[Yes->weirdlylong4]]
[[Definitely->weirdlylong4]]
[[Give pizza->weirdlylong4]]Ok! Well, I'd love to say it's been a pleasure. Your pizza's being made right now and will be with you shortly.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("weirdlylong5");
},
3000
);
%>
Don't forget to take a picture and send it over. It'll be weird. I want to see.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("weirdlylong5.5");
},
3000
);
%>
<img src="https://i.imgur.com/334jBvm.png" width="904" height="720">
You found one of the special pizzas! Congratulations - a good day to be two cats! There are three special pizzas in total - can you find them all?
[[Start over->Title]]
[[Skip to Pizza Order->I would like to order a pizza]]That is a surreal amount of meat, but ok, whatever buddy. It's your pizza. Hope you're prepared for what's coming.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("weirdlylongmeat3");
},
2500
);
%>
Ok, well we've already got your address from last time, and your card on file. Are we ok to use that?
[[Yes->weirdlylongmeat4]]
[[Definitely->weirdlylongmeat4]]
[[Give pizza->weirdlylongmeat4]]Ok! Well, I'd love to say it's been a pleasure but honestly, like your pizza, it's just been long and weird. Your pizza's being made right now and will be with you shortly.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("weirdlylongmeat5");
},
3000
);
%>
Normally here I'd ask you to send a picture for our socials, but I kinda don't want you to. It's gonna be gross. Please don't.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("weirdlylongmeat5.5");
},
3000
);
%>
<img src="https://i.imgur.com/bNtcVFE.png" width="904" height="720">
You found one of the special pizzas! Congratulations - a good day to be two cats! There are three special pizzas in total - can you find them all?
[[Start over->Title]]
[[Skip to Pizza Order->I would like to order a pizza]]99999999
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("9999");
},
1500
);
%>999999
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("999999999999");
},
1500
);
%>You've made a brave choice.
<% if (s.baseVariable == "Meat RodⓇ") { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Basecheck3");
},
2500
);
%>
<% } else { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Basecheck2");
},
2500
);
%>
<% } %>
Just to check:
You want one <%=
s.sizeVariable
%> <%=
s.baseVariable
%> topped with <%=
s.topping1Variable
%>, <%=
s.topping2Variable
%>, <%=
s.topping3Variable
%> and <%=
s.topping4Variable
%>?
<% if (s.sizeVariable == "weirdly long") { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("weirdlylongmeat2");
},
3000
);
%>
<% } else { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Summary2");
},
2500
);
%>
<% } %>Honestly, I feel a little sick putting this thing through.
<% if (s.sizeVariable == "extra, extra large") { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("ALLMEAT");
},
2500
);
%>
<% } else { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Basecheck2");
},
2500
);
%>
<% } %>
Thank you for using Pizza The Action - where the Pizza is King!
[[Receive Pizza->ALLMEAT6]]Thank you for using Pizza The Action - where the Pizza is King!
[[Receive Pizza]]Thank you for using Pizza The Action - where the Pizza is King!
[[Receive Pizza->weirdlylong6]]Thank you for using Pizza The Action - where the Pizza is King!
[[Receive Pizza->weirdlylongmeat6]]Buddy, all our pizzas are nice, of course. What topping do you want as your fourth?
[[Meat->Meat4]]
[[Vegetable->Vegetable4]]
[[Hawaiian->Hawaiian4]]
[[Cheese->Cheese4]][[...not sucking->You suck]]
[[...nap->...sleep]]
[[...please...]]
[[...give pizza.->Apologies]]
[[...we're sorry.]]...ok, apology accepted. Odd use of the royal 'we' there as well. Listen, you're on your last warning, ok? I'm not taking minimum wage to put up with... whatever that was.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Apology Accepted");
},
4500
);
%>This isn't ok, y'know. But...
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Insensitive");
},
2000
);
%>You are two cats.
<%
s.sizeVariable = "none";
s.baseVariable = "none";
s.topping1Variable = "none";
s.topping2Variable = "none";
s.topping3Variable = "none";
s.topping4Variable = "none";
%>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Instructions2");
},
1500
);
%>Your food-provider has foolishly left their phone within reach.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Instructions3");
},
3000
);
%>Their favourite pizza delivery place has an online ordering app with predictive text...
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Instructions4");
},
3500
);
%>...and you are two cats.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Start");
},
2500
);
%><% if (s.specialVariable == "weirdly long") { %>
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Start");
},
1500
);
%>Let's see if you're... feline up to some pizza? Yeah? Ahhh. But no, really, let's get that pizza order going.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Pizza Order");
},
2500
);
%>Little... paws.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Furry3");
},
3000
);
%>Like... if you were a cat.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Furry4");
},
3000
);
%>Let's get that order on the go, and put this behind us.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("I would like to order a pizza");
},
4500
);
%>...y'know what, I am kinda tired. It's been a long shift, and... I could do with a snooze. It is making me kinda grouchy. But I've got bills to pay.
[[Pizza then.->I would like to order a pizza]]
[[Try...->Try2]]...you know what, you're right? What's the point of working a dead-end job selling takeaway pizza if you can't eat the pizza?
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("...eat2");
},
2000
);
%>You're pretty wise, buddy. You've got your life sorted out, I can tell. You're right. I should look after myself first.
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("Close up1");
},
3000
);
%>[[Pizza then.->I would like to order a pizza]]
[[...eat]]I'm gonna go ahead and close up. Barry won't mind - it's basically the end of my shift anyway. Thanks buddy.
[[Only nap]]
[[Only eat]][[and eat.->Close up2]]
[[and nap.->Close up2]][[Eat pizza?]][[Hello?]]
**This chat is now closed. Please try again during opening hours.**
<%
window.setTimeout(
function(){
story.show("HANG UP");
},
3000
);
%>We've got regular sizes, but you can also input your own size if you want. Useful if you're hosting a really big party, or you're just really really hungry.
[[Choose size->Pizza Order]]
[[Enter size->9]]