You are in a deep dark cave. you do not know how you got here. there are [[frogs]] everywhere and they seem to be playing. obvious exits are [[west]] and [[east]]. your head hurts and you are hungrythe frogs are playing gleefully and you approach them. do you wish to [[eat]] or frogs [[play with]]?you walk for a very long way. you are not sure wether you are going up or down. there is a skeleton on the floor with a bag. do you [[get bag]]or [[keep going]] or [[examine skeleton]]?there infront of you is a vast chasm. before the chasm stands a wizard. it speaks 'beyond this chasm lies the human realms and you are a human, that must be where you want to go!' do you [[agree with the wizard]] or [[disagree with the wizard]] ?you eat the frogs and are very full very quickly, they are weak and easy to capture. you feel incredible stength and pride as you devour them. do you wish to go [[east]] or [[west]]?you play with the frogs for GOD knows how long, it is a really wonderful time. they frogs cheer and rejoice. the frogs thank you and say "it has been so long since someone has played with us, thank you for your compassion and thirst for joy. we can offer you 1 boon but you must choose wisely. you may [[return with us to the realm of frogs]] or [[get dagger]]your vision twists and swirls, the smell of sweet sweet creams and cakes take you to a place of true bliss as your body is transformed into that of a frog. you open you eyes and there are thousands of frogs to greet you. and they say to you 'thank you for joining us, we are glad to have you, but alas you have been tricked and we actually need your help our realm is threatened by goblins and we are mere frogs' do you [[ask to be returned]] or offer to [[slay the goblins]] or offer to [[make peace with the goblins]]?you get the dagger the frogs have gifted you. they disappear to the frog realm. would you like to [[go west now]] or [[east this time]] or [[not sure, whatever seems easiest]]you walk for a very long time clutching you new frog dagger with glee. you find a skeleton. the skeleton has a bag. do you [[try to get the bag]] [[take a closer look at the skeleton]] or [[just keep going]]?you enter a room with a great chasm, there stands a wizard. it shrieks with fear as it sees you clutch the frog dagger. 'do you not know to not brandish the frog dagger before a wizard' [[there be no greater mistakE!]]neither direction seems easy to be honest. your head hurts and you have a dagger... the easiest thing to do would have been to go with the frogs. your lethargy takes over and you have [[died]].you get the bag, the bag is made of cloth, this bag has 2 buttons, and it is full of gold coins. you immidiately begin to count them. a knight jumps out from behind a rock and screeches 'avast ye beast of unkempt averice, i shal slay thee' and you are [[slain]]you keep going down the hallway. from behind a rock a knight jumps out and screams 'perish vile trash' and you are [[slain]]you begin to examine the skeleton and realize that this person has died. this skeleton is made of bone. you're head hurts. a knight with a sword jumps out from behind a rock and screams 'die foul creature' and you are [[slain]].the frogs bellow in protest 'returned!!?!?!? you spit in the face of all blessings any frog has ever granted!!! you reject our realm, you reject creation itself, and therefore you shall be destroyed and seperated into your most basic parts." you expereince great fear as the frogs attack. you are [[slain]] the goblins are on the other side of the toad mountains, but their ambassidor is here for one more night. do you wish to [[slay the ambassidor]] or [[use frog strealth to sneak into her pack back to the goblin lands]] or [[traverse the toad mountains on your own]]?the frogs agree and take you to the goblin ambassidor... she is visiting for one more day. you ask 'what can i do to bring peace to the froggy people' and the goblin says 'frogs are very delicious and very weak and we are goblins and very hungry and have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress we are under' do you offer to [[give other food]] or [[teach goblins capitalism]] [[slay the ambassidor]] ?slain are ye? that no doubt is the true failure of a cave-stumbling oaf in which you truly be.the ambassidor is a full sized goblin, and in your human form, perhaps this would have been an easy task but she swallows you whole and you are [[slain]]you hop gracefully and sneakily into a deep pocket of the goblin's pack and wait patiently until morning. the instant the goblin raises her pack onto her should a water bottle shifts and curshes you badly. [[you perish]]the journey is trecherous and you have travelled a long long way. the mountains loom over you as you begin your ascent. you trip and fall deep into a [[cave]]you've been here before.. it is dark and there are [[humans]] that are playing, obvious exits are [[west]] and [[to the east]]these humans are playing peacefully. do you [[play with the humans]] or [[ask for help finding the golbin lands]] or [[ask to be eaten]]?you approach a great chasm and standing infront of it is a wizard 'speak thy name frog, or I shall KAPOW ye' you explain that you do not know your name or how you got here and the wizard seems sympathetic. 'avast! were ye human wee frog?' do you [[disagree with the wizard]] or say [[yes of course]]?to have died in this cave is sure better than having been slain! but no good fate indeed.you offer to provide alternatives for the goblins to eat. you notice their are surplus grasses, molds, and fungi in the frog lands. you offer these things and the goblin tries to eat them. she is not revolted but seems dissappointed 'not as good as frogs to be honest' you agree (why?). do you [[really really try and sell her on this whole mold fungi thing]] or [[slay the ambassidor]] ?you are a frog, but were once a human, some of the best creatures at capitalism, you offer your wisdom on the fundamentals of supply and demand, opportunity costs, and accessible spending. the goblin is disgusted at your ability to seperate a consumer from their money but agrees and leaves the frog lands the next day. the goblins never return to eat the frogs. 10 years later (you're still a frog) a goblin starbucks opens up in the frog lands and now the frogs are doing capitalism. you live much of your life happily ever after, but you know what late-stage capitalism is like and you have set the next froggy generation up for a terrible existance.you speak for hours, you sort of lose your train of thought in the middle but you finish strong. wow that must be one patient ambassador to have put up with all that. she nods sagely and agrees to promote this as an option when she gets back to the goblin lands. months pass before a fleet of goblins arrive. they spend some time gathering molds and fungis and grasses before leaving back to the goblin lands. the froggy ecosystem is resilient and can take this level of foraging. occassionally a goblin forager will eat a couple frogs, but hey! it could be worse. life continues this way until you [[die peacefully]] in your sleep many years later. (you're still a frog).now THATs the way to go! dying is better than being slain, and dying peacefully is the stuff all cave-stumbling oafs DREAM of. things were good for you. nice.ah i knew this to be true, for i am a wizard and thee are just a human! well to cross this chasm come back to me in the form of a frog and i will do you a great solid. [[turn around]]KACHOW a bolt of pure radiant light jolts from the snout of the wizard. you are [[slain]]well then you must want to return to the human realms? [[yes please great wizard for I am very weary]] or [[disagree with the wizard]]WAPANG, the wizard launches a bolt of grey ooze from its mouth and you find yourself in a tavern full of humans (you are still a frog) 'ak a frog!' belches a patron. do you [[explain the whole situation calmly]] or [[act like a frog]]?you are an overnight sensation, nobody has ever seen a talking frog THIS articulate, or good at singing apparently, and not one with such a great backstory! the whole magic cave thing really lends a sympathetic ear from the humans of the human lands and things are good and right, you live to an old old froggy age of 100 and life could not have been better. you have lots of friends and you eat stuff you love to eat. this is it. it doesnt get better than this. just frogs being prosperous. [[you die very peacefully]]you are crushed under the foot of a drunken dreary patron of the human lands tavern. in your last moments of life, you recognize this to have been your human dad. you are [[slain by your own dad]]slain are ye? by ye own dad? better than a nobody no doubt! YOU WIN
CLAIM YOUR PRIZE BY MESSAGING THE CREATOR OF THIS GAME
"ALL GOOD FROGS GO TO HEAVEN"you play with the humans, they are a little rough to you, being a frog and all, and them being completely devoid of empathy. you spend a good while more or less tolerating thier style of play before one of them announces 'ye frog best beware, there be a chasm near here where the goblin queen lives and she is no friendly creature to froggies' do you [[go meet with the goblin queen at the bottom of the chasm]] or [[ask to be eaten]] or [[ask to be turned into a human]] ?
ye wee frog seek the goblin lands? well we may guide you but what can you offer thine? [[a funny little dance]] or [[a jaunty frog song]]?its been a long miserable day and being eaten would just make this all so much more bearable. the creature shreiks with glee 'i thought you'd never ask!' and you are devoured instantly. in your last milisecond of cognition you recognize this human to be your human childhood best friend andthen you are[[slain by ye own human childhood best friend]]you hop down the chasm slowly and gracefully taking full advantage of your froggy agility. the journey is perilous and mortifying. you reach the bottom of the chasm and find yourself in a lavish hallway addorned with gold and gems. do you [[carry on towards the throne room]] or [[plunder treasure]]?'well what can thee offer me wee froggo?' [[companionship]] or [[a good joke]]slain are ye? worse ways to go I suppose- that is to be slain by a nobody would have been a harsh way to go. but a childhood best friend, few know you better, and there is an odd comfort that you have supported this once dear commrad with an approximate 220 callories. "your dance fills my cold dark heart with empathy, enough so to grant thee a boon. alas, I lied, I do not know where the goblin lands are but I can offer ye to be [[transformed into a human]]"
or do you just [[ask to be eaten]]?you haunting croaks fill the human with deep sorrow. 'frog, you remind me of a great artist in the human lands known as Adele. You must meet her! I shal take you to her, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. during the long journey the human [[explain the whole situation calmly]] and it really is starting to sound like a great opportunity!yehaw, once more ye are human! it is time to really get this show on the road... you [[turn around]] and recognize a very familair spot.ye perished!?! there be no worse way to go.. no shame for thee.. only pity.ye stand before a great, wise and powerful goblin queen. she whispers in a faint and haunting voice 'who be thee tiny froggo to journey such a great way?' do you [[challenge her to a duel]] or [[explain the froggy plight]]?ye have no place to store treasure, and meager dexterity due to your froggy form. you decide to [[carry on towards the throne room]] she shreiks with glee at the challenge. 'a duel with thee tiny froggo?, why your bravado is grand- I shall make thee a [[great knight in my armies]]! or would you rather just [[roll over and ask to be stepped on]]?your knowledge of frog-goblin history is way under developed, and shes calling you on some pretty serious claims you are deeply uninformed on.. this is very embaressing for you and as such [[you die of embaressment]]you lead great armies and lay waste to many nations. you are the pride of the goblin fleet and the rest of the froggy folk are offered spaces in your batallion. those who decline were consumed, those who accepted became great warriors. You have secured a violent but powerful future for the frogs of this realm, but at the expence of many.you slowly and pathetically roll over onto your back and ask to be stepped on. 'what is this? some performance art piece?.... it is.... deeply moving, and now I understand the forggy plight. I shall cease the consumption of frogs right now... well maybe one last one. [[the goblin queen gobbles you up]]gobbled?! not a good way to go but my god you are a hero to frogs everywhere.
SEND THE CREATOR OF THIS STORY THE MESSAGE BELOW
A FROG IS ONLY AS GOOD AS THEIR WORDyou died of embaressment? thAT is the worst way to go... SHASHOW a beam of olive-coloured oil sprays from the wizards heart. you are incinerated in hyper-slow-mo and yikes that ended poorly. you are [[slain]]you reach for the bag but before you can grab it a knight jumps out from behind a rock and exlaims 'dissipate before me finite crumb' - you jump back deftly and sweep wide with the dagger, your blade catches the knights foot and it is toppled. do you [[slay the knight]] or [[spare the knight]]?you look down at the skeleton, but are ambushed by a knight- it launches itslef at you from behind a rock- you duck and roll and trip the knight with your rapid tumble. you raise the froggy dagger and [[slay the knight]] or [[spare the knight]] ?Double-click this passage to edit it.you stab down through the helmet and the knight is slain. wow that feels good, you thought you might feel bad about that one, but wow, nope that was great! good for you. [[carry onward]] or [[loot the knight]] or [[examine familiar skeleton]]?fool! this knight struck out at you with very little reason, and it takes no hesitation at your mercy, it spins rapidly on the ground and you are toppled. the knight spoings into the air and stabs you fiercly in the head whilst saying 'doth merciful as a shrew and twice as daft'! you are [[slain]]you carry onward not very far and encounter a flock of flying bats! the bats strike out at your unarmoured flesh with no mercy and you contract at least 1 disease. [[you perish]] you get plate armour and sword and sheild![[keep going i guess]]you keep going and are attacked by a flock of winged air bats! the bats strike out against your armoured carapice but to no avail. the bats settle after realizing their failure and apologize. do you [[accept the bat apology]] or [[reject the bat apology]]?this skeleton is very familiar... very very familair... you would recognize this skeleton anywhere!!!! this is your skeleton!!!! you are a ghost!!!! your quest is complete and you [[vanish into ghost aether]]. your soul joins with the twisting nether and you are truly and finally at peace with the cosmos. no truer bliss has ever been known than that of a ghost finding true peace.
YOU WIN?the bats snort with disgust 'uhm you actually thought we would apologize to you!?" [[you die of embaressment]] who could blame you? you slay the bats without yeild and it doesn't feel as good as when you killed the knight... you actually feel a little bad... [[welp, might as well keep going]] or [[eat the bats]]?you carry on down the hallway. you reach an exit. it is day. you are in a forest. there is a town. the town has humans.
[[go to forest]] or [[go to town]] or [[go back into the cave]]?good idea
[[welp, might as well keep going]] you wander in the forest aimlessly, you stumble over a log and you items go flying into the trees. you hit your head and everything goes black... you awaken in a dark room facing the corner [[turn around]]oooh this is the town you grew up in, and the people are your friends and family... they are very worried about you. you are home and you are loved... you still do not have your memories... the cave calls to you.[[stay home]] or [[go back into the cave]]the cave is the only thing you have ever been good at! (you think? you dont remember much?) but at least your good at fighting now. you decide to hide behind a rock near a skeleton and ambush travellers for the rest of your days.you are safe and you are loved and you are home... but there will always be a peice of you left in that cave... the cave that calls to you.you spend some time with this human, living your lives together.. sharing domestic duties (those in which you are capable of performing as a frog. a year goes by and you request again to be turned into a human but your companian announces 'i have become too accustumed to your futility and dependance on me, and instead you shall be devoured'. yikes... you are [[slain]]wow that was funny! the joke lands and the human slaps both knees with glee. the human transforms you back into a human! hurray! things are really starting to [[turn around]] for you!