Welcome to Cool Cat's Good Time Drug Free Video Game! (C) 1987 <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/cat1.png"> Greetings, I'm Cool Cat -- President of the Cool Club! I've gathered you all here today to make a super important announcement: I've asked a super cool new member to join our club. >[[Who?|who]]<img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/kid1.png"> <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/kid2.png"> <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/rat.png"> <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/rat2.png"> <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/bat1.png"> <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/bat2.png"> <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/fox.png"> <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/rhino1.png"><img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/poss.png"> "Hey kid, I got something here that tastes real good." <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/rat.png"><img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/kid2.png"> >[[What is it?|what]] >[[I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.|strangers]] "It's called poison! It'll make you feel gooood." <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/rat2.png"><img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/kid2.png"> >[["Poison? No way! That's poisonous!"|poison]] >[["Gosh I dunno..."|dunno]]"Very clever, kid. My name's Repulsive Rat. Now we ain't strangers no more, eh?" <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/rat.png"> > [[Okay, what do you have?|what]] Awesome job, Player One! That's right -- Poison IS poisonous! Don't let some total dweeb-o-matic tell you that drinking poison is cool. There's no surer way to get POISONED than to drink poison! <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/cat1.png"> You've passed the first test to join the Cool Club! But there's more obstacles ahead... Let's see how if Player One can keep it up! >[[Continue...?|weasel]]Wait! Stop! Poison is poisonous! You should never eat poison! Poison is poisonous! <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/cat1.png"> Next time, try one of these cool ways to say NO to poison: > I get my joys in without poison! > Stop being so noisome! I don't want no poison! > Yuck!! I'd rather drink a new Coke than drink poison! > What do I look like, a hippy? > I'm no chicken, you're a turkey! > [[Try again?|walk]]"...their name is <b>Player One</b>." <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/kid1.png"> "I gave them directions to get to our club house and they should be on their way right now!" >[[Start Game|rhino]]Cool Cat's Drug Free Good Time Video Game A Twine game by <a href="http://childeatingmonsters.tumblr.com/">Bitter Karella</a> 'Early GameBoy' font by Jimmy Campbell <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/seal.png"> <center>"Winners don't eat poison"</center> Radical Rhino: Wow! A new member! That's great! I love meeting new friends! Awesome Possum: Me too! But who is this new member? <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/rhino1.png"><img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/poss.png"> Cool Cat: Good question, pals! It's my good friend... > [[Continue...?|playerone]] "Gosh, Cool Cat! Are you sure they'll be able to get to the clubhouse safely? There are a lot of safety hazards out there!" <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/rhino1.png" >[[Continue...?|catexplain]]"Don't worry, Radical Rhino, I gave Player One clear instructions on how to get here! And they know how important it is to: <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/cat1.png"> >AVOID TALKING TO STRANGERS >NOT DO DRUGS >BE SAFE "I'm sure that they'll remember to follow these simple rules and arrive here, at the club house, at any time now so that we can start the initiation party!" >[[Start Game?|walk]] Player One is on their way to the Cool Cat Clubhouse. <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/kid1.png"> >[[Continue...?|No]]Player One is getting closer to Cool Cat's Cool Club! <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/kid1.png"> >[[Continue...?|bat]] "Hey kid, my name is Bratty Bat. I hear that you're going to join Cool Cat's Cool Club. But how'd you like to join a cooler club instead?" <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/bat2.png"> >[["What's this other club?"|cooler]] >[["No way! I'm already committed to join the Cool Club. I don't have time to be active in multiple clubs!"|nocooler]] "It's called the Disrespect authority club! It's totally fun! Wanna try it out?" <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/bat1.png"> >[["I'll give it a try!"|stop]] >[["No way! Disrespecting authority sounds totally uncool!|notcool]]"No way, kid! This club is totally easy! It's no commitment at all!" <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/bat2.png"> >[["Ok, fine. What's this club called?"|cooler]]STOP!!! Disrespecting authority is NOT COOL!! Authority figures like parents, teachers and hall monitors should be obeyed and respected because they know what's best for you. Independent thought may seem cool but may lead you to dangerous areas! <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/cat1.png"> If you're tempted to disrespect authority, just remember the C.O.O.L. Rule: C. Cool people respect authority! O. Open your eyes to how respecting authority is cool! O. On the whole, respecting authority is good. L. Let's all respect authority! >[[Let's try that again!|weasel]]GREAT JOB!!!!! Disrespecting authority is the uncoolest thing in the world! If you want to be cool, just remember what President Reagan said: Just Say No... to being disrespectful! <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/cat1.png"> You're doing great! You're almost at the Cool Club now!! >[[continue...|foxwalk]]Player One is getting closer to Cool Cat's Cool Club! <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/kid1.png"> >[[Continue...?|fox]]"Hey, Player One! I'm Frenchkissy Fox! I heard that you were totally cool. I was wondering if maybe you'd like to make out and then maybe sell some atomic secrets to libya?" <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/fox.png"> >[["I would love to do both of those things!|libya]] >[[No way! I'm not going to jeopardize the US nuclear hegemony just to kiss some icky girl!|cooties]]STOPPPPPP!!!!! Kissing girls may sound cool, but every girl you kiss increases your chances of catching cooties! One out of every 5 girls is a cooties carrier! Don't be another statistic! <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/cat1.png"> >[[Let's try that again!|foxwalk]]FANTABULOUSLY RADICAL!!!! You know that kissing girls is a good way to get cooties, which can lead to blindness, hairy palms, and insanity. Don't let cooties cut short your potential! <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/cat1.png"> Congratulations!!! You've passed all the tests and proven that you're the Coolest kid in school!!! Welcome to cool Cat's Cool club!!! Click the link below to display a copy of the official cool club seal that you can print out and pin to your bookbag to show all the kids at school that COOL RULES!!! >[[Continue...?|seal]]PRINT IT OUT TO SHOW EVERYONE HOW COOL YOU ARE!!!! <img src="http://www.guttersnipecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/seal.png"> >[[Replay...?|videogame]]