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State your name here. <<textbox "$name" "Jordan" autofocus>>
<<linkreplace "ENTER NAME." t8n>>
Hi there, $name!
[[Let's Get Started!]]
<</linkreplace>>
You sit by your living room window, gazing out to the nearby park. In it, a few children-- maybe nine or ten years old-- kick a soccer ball around. You smile softly to yourself, remembering your soccer-playing days. Long past, of course. Now, all you seem to do is slave away at work, come home, and reminisce about your childhood. Not that it was all that great.
[[Get lost in thoughts]]There’s a sudden knock at the door, startling you. You make your way to the door, stepping over discarded shoes and jackets you never seemed to find the time to put away. Putting on a big smile, you open the door. Outside on the porch stands nothing but a small box with an envelope taped to the top of it. On the envelope, scrawled in black writing, says $name Walters - CLASS OF 2010. You cautiously pry the envelope off the box, straightening to look around. No one is walking around, knocking on doors. The street is completely empty. Weird, you think to yourself, tearing the envelope open. Inside it is a small blue and green card. An invitation to a middle school reunion. Your middle school reunion. Middle school, you think. What a time.
[[Go to kitchen drawer.]] Not too far away, in a kitchen drawer, you manage to dig up a little strip of photos. In them, you and a few of your friends are posing with oversized glasses and wigs. The photobooth at that eighth grade dance, you recall. As you do, your face falls. Despite the apparent joy in your face in the little thumbnail pictures, that night was anything but pleasant. As you gaze into the photo strip, the pictures seem to get closer and closer, more and more 3D. You can practically hear the DJ, smell the sugar in the air…
[[Close your eyes.]]
No. Scratch that. You //can// hear the DJ and smell the air. You look down at yourself. Gone is the formal attire you wore to work. Instead, you’re wearing your older sibling’s prom outfit. Too big for you and certainly inappropriate for an eighth grade dance, but it was all you and your family could scrounge up last minute.
<<if not hasVisited("A burst of light fills your vision.")>>
[[Search desperately for a familiar face.]]
<<endif>>
<<if hasVisited("A burst of light fills your vision.")>>
[[It's the beginning of the night.]]
<<endif>>
Across the room you see your best friend, Simon. He’s hanging back from the crowd, silently observing all of the thirteen year olds jumping around. Simon always does like to pretend he’s more mature than the rest of us, you muse. You head over to him and he laughs. “What the heck are you wearing, $name?” he says. You feel your face redden. “Coming was a last minute choice. I just found out Alex was going to be here maybe…” you check the clock. “An hour ago.” Simon grins. “And of course, you’d practically kill for a dance with Alex.” He’s not wrong. Simon and you hang out for a few more minutes before heading outside to the snacks table.
[[Study the punch bowl.]]
<<cacheaudio "adiemus" "Adiemus.mp3">>
[img[PUNCH BOWL.PNG]]
<<audio "adiemus" play>>
[[Act like a functional human being again.]]
<<audio "adiemus" stop>>
Observing the array of overpriced, prepackaged snack foods, you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn around to see a lanky white kid wearing a tight button-up shirt. His name is Brian and he’s an asshole. He proves this by opening his mouth. “Hey, $name, you look like a hobo. Where’d you get that, the dumpster outside the high school?” You mumble back something about it being a last minute choice, but he interrupts you. “You expect to get a date wearing that? Yeah, right. Dumb. That’s what you are.” As he speaks, he gets closer and closer, finally giving you a little shove, then a bigger one that sends you crashing to the ground. You catch yourself with your elbows, but not before you feel the fabric on your back tear. Pain shoots up each arm. You tear up. You try to shout something at Brian, but he’s already left.
[[Hide in the bathroom.]]
You barge into the bathroom, which by some stroke of luck is empty. Trying your hardest to compose yourself, you stumble to the sink to clean yourself up. Your sleeves are torn and bloodied. You took a bad fall. Suddenly, the door of the bathroom opens behind you. You keep your eyes down, praying it’s not Brian. A familiar voice catches your attention. “$name?” Your head snaps up. It’s Alex.
[[Try to flash a seductive pose.]]
Alex stares at you, brow furrowed. The expression across their face may not be ‘repulsed’ but it certainly isn’t ‘in love’. You close your eyes tightly, hoping maybe, if you pretend they’re not standing there, they won’t be. To your surprise, when you open your eyes again, Alex is gone! Then, the click of a stall door lock snaps you back into reality. You bend over the sink, breathing heavily. It’s harder than ever not to cry. You feel tears running down your cheeks-- furiously, you splash your face with water. It doesn’t seem to help. You glance at the door. It’s the only way out.
[[Make a daring escape.]]
As you reach for the door handle, it slams open. You jump back to avoid getting hit, only to end up face to face with Brian. Whether or not he’s been hunting you down is unclear; what is clear is however badly he treated you before, this time is going to be much, much worse. Brian smirks at you. “Have you been crying?” he sneers. “Can’t take a little bit of teasing, huh?” He steps into the bathroom, the door swinging shut behind you. The push he gives you shouldn’t be enough to knock you over, but as you take a step backwards, your foot slips in a puddle of… well, hopefully water. Arms flailing, you feel your legs buckle beneath you. Eyes shut, you crumple onto the ground, damp from the floor and your own sweat and tears, body aching, and ultimately defeated. At least this can’t get any worse, you think to yourself. You crack open your eyes, only to see Alex standing over you. Now, there is no mistaking their expression. Now, it’s ‘repulsed’.
[[Try to find a place to hide and pretend you don’t exist in the material plane.]]
You spend the rest of the night crouched behind the gym, waiting for the dance to end. It’s cold there, but at least it’s empty. Your outfit is torn up, you have blood and dirt caked on your arms and back, and the smell from the bathroom still lingers in the air. This is going to take some explaining.
[[A burst of light fills your vision.]]
That fateful night back in eighth grade has stuck with you for over ten years now. But what if… could it be? Can you travel back in time, and rewrite the past?
[[Close your eyes.]]
You’re sweating, which is making your loose clothes stick to awkward places like the middle of your back, your armpit...the back of your knees. Do I usually sweat there? you think to yourself. You wipe some more sweat from your brow and breathe out a long puff of air. Okay, I’ve got to do something to make this go the right way.
<<if hasVisited("Start crying on the floor like a baby.", "Step closer.", "Prepare for immense amounts of physical pain" , "Writhe around on the floor")>>
[[TAKE MATTERS INTO YOUR OWN HANDS]]
<<else>>
[[Impress everyone with your cool dance moves]]
[[Ask someone to dance with you]]
[[Change your outfit]]
<<endif>>
You suddenly appear again at the beginning of the dance, safe and sound. Again, you’re wearing your older sibling’s prom outfit. Still wish you could have gotten something nicer… but it will do. You see a jukebox in the corner you hadn’t seen before.
[[Go to the jukebox.]]
Alex, (reminder: your CRUSH), is sitting with some of their friends, leaned up against the red brick wall. They twirl their hair in one finger. God….angel….I could ask them to dance with me....but I’d probably just end up getting rejected anyway… You turn your head to see
[[Who is it?]]
You appear once again at the beginning of the dance, looking forward to the night this could be. As you look across the gym at the numerous young faces shrouded in dim colored lights, you can’t help but notice everyone’s outfits. They look so sleek, so cool, so, uh, planned. Your thoughts drip down to your own clothes, baggy, worn, wrinkly. You try to ignore it and move on with your night, but immediately you feel the bottom of your pant legs dragging on the floor around your oversized shoes. I look like a clown, you think.
[[Hide in the shadows]]
You arrive at the jukebox. There’s only two options to choose from -- “My Way,” by Frank Sinatra, and “Gangsta’s Paradise” by Coolio. You briefly remember Alex discussing their love of 90’s gangster rap.
[[Play Gangsta’s Paradise, duh.]]
<<cacheaudio "gangsta" "Gangsta's Paradise.mp3">>
<<audio "gangsta" play>>
The iconic synth starts to boom throughout the auditorium. “As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” You head towards the center of the gym, where a neat empty circle for brave dancers to show off appears. Brian cautiously enters the ring, and throws all of his energy into a poorly timed sprinkler. The chorus is about to start.
[[Challenge Brian to a dance battle]]
“You think you can beat my sick grooves, nerd?” Brian taunts. “Coolio is my middle name!” Once the chorus starts, a confused Brian starts singing the chorus to “Poison” by Bell Biv Devoe by accident. He continues to sprinkler nonetheless.
[[Do the worm.]]
You begin to do some form of the worm, though it’s really more of a seizure. Brian looks frustrated. “Alright, nimrod, enough of this nonsense. It’s time to do a propeller contest.” You’ve never heard of this dance move, but you agree nonetheless. Brain shows you his take on the propeller. He spreads his arms out, making a “T,” and just spins around really fast. Alex looks impressed…
[[Do a better propeller.]]
“Take this, meathead.” You spin around fast as all hell. So fast, you feel like you are about to take flight…
[[Faster.]]
You are starting to get dizzy. You think you may be reaching mach 3 or 4 by this point. If Alex weren’t just a blob of fast-moving lines, you would assume they are very, very impressed by your propeller.
[[Faster, dammit!]]You go faster. A whole lot faster. It seems that you have achieved nirvana… you forget who you are for a second… you hear Brian yelling “Woah! It’s too much, $name! Slow down!”
[[slow down? You’re not a coward… Faster, DAMMIT!]]“I AM GOD HIMSELF!” You yell as you become a flurry of hyper-spinning arms and sweat. Then all of the sudden, a giant spray of blood erupts from Brian’s direction. You hear screams from all around.
[[Slow down?]]You start to slow down. Things start to come closer into view. Then Alex’s voice… “$name! You killed Brian with your propeller! How could you! AGHHH!!” Brian’s head rolls over to your feet. Dammit, you killed Brian. At least you proved you could propeller faster, though. [[Try to make amends with Alex]]“Gangsta’s Paradise” by hit 90’s singer Coolio comes to an end. “Alex, I’m sorry I killed Brian. I really am.” Slow, comforting guitar starts to play in your ears. You can’t tell if it’s the jukebox, the DJ, or your brain which has turned into mashed potatoes by this point. But it is really comforting. “I just… I just thought that if I could out-propeller him… I could win over you.” You give yourself a little pat on the back for how smooth that was, and your hand retreats, covered in blood and guts. Alex responds. “That was pretty cool… but you’re still not good enough… and your propeller could be even faster.”
<<audio "gangsta" stop>>
[[Start crying on the floor like a baby.]]
You begin to sob, creating a nice yin-yang puddle of blood and tears on the gymnasium floor. You slowly begin to fall asleep...
[[It's the beginning of the night.]] An average, awkward teenager, Ezra, is sitting down on the gym floor, picking at the rubber sole of their converse sneakers. They’re not exactly considered to be in the uber weirdo group...but they’re not A-list, or even B-list, either. They’re more...attainable. I wouldn’t look too foolish dancing with them...but I don’t really feel the spark for them I always feel when I’m around Alex...You look back and forth between your two options. Who will you dance with?
[[Ask Alex to dance]]
[[Ask Ezra to dance]] <<cacheaudio "true" "Spandau Ballet - True.mp3">>
<<audio "true" play>>
You can feel moisture building up on your palms as you make your way across the wax-covered floor to Alex. They look dreamy...radiant...ethereal. Cue the disco lights, the slow music. “True” by Spandau Ballet starts playing in your mind...or is it playing over the speakers? Buh, buh, buh, buhhhhhhh, buhhhhh...
[[Take a deep breath, buddy]]
Who am I kidding? I’m so out of Alex’s league... You sigh in defeat and walk over to Ezra. They look up at you. “Hey, $name, greetings and salutations,” Ezra remarks.
[[Offer Ezra a hand as they stand up]]
You’re 10 feet away from them...5 feet away....They’re right in front of you. Here you go. “Hey, Alex…” you say quietly.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. Could you say that again,” Alex says, smirking a bit. A dimple is present on their right cheek. So cute, you think.
“Sorry, it’s pretty loud in here,” you laugh, scooting closer.
They smile. “I was wondering if you...well, if you….” you shake your head and look down to your shoes. They’re...so old-looking. Ugh. “I was wondering if you wanted a dance with me?” You look back up.
Alex smiles. “Actually, you’re the first person to ask, so yeah, I will.” Your jaw drops.
[[Close your mouth please, we are not a codfish]]
You shut your mouth. Alex waits. You wipe your hand on your jacket before extending it to Alex. Alex takes it and you lead them to an open area on the dance floor. Don’t mess this up, don’t mess this up, don’t mess this up...You’re the luckiest person in this smelly gym right now, you know that right? You look back over your shoulder just to make sure you weren’t imagining things.
And Alex is still there, smiling back at you. The eyes of envious classmates are glued to you. Everything moves in slow motion. You’re quire sure that “True” by Spandau Ballet is definitely playing right now. Your weird gym teacher looks at you, then Alex, then you, and gives a confused thumbs up. You mouth the words, “Uh...thanks.” Your best friend Simon gives you a solid nod, and you instantly feel encouraged.
[[Stop in the middle of the dance floor]]
Alex is only a bit taller than you are. Just a bit. Still, Alex puts their arms over your shoulders. Oh my god...wait, where do mine go again? You look around at the other couples. Oh, Alex’s waist… You gulp, not really scared of cooties anymore.
[[Put your hands on Alex’s waist]]
“So, why’d you ask me? No offense, but people like you usually just don’t talk to me,” Alex says over the music.
“Uh….I just. I figured...well, I kind of…” you sigh. “There’s not really anyone else I’d rather dance with...I figured I might ask who I actually wanted to ask, instead of just asking someone for the heck of it, right?”
Alex is taken aback. They move a bit closer. Your arms aren’t awkwardly outstretched in front of you, now. There’s a bend in your elbows. It feels nice. Comfortable, even.
[[You’re doing it, buddy! Woo!]]
“That’s actually really sweet,” Alex says, smiling. You sway to the music. After another verse, Alex has their head on your shoulder...which can’t be that comfortable, considering your closeness in height. But they stay there...through the whole song...and not the radio edit either….Please don’t let this end, you think to yourself as you smell the top of Alex’s head. Damn, I need to ask what kind of shampoo Alex uses.
Alex straightens up and you immediately feel the void that they leave behind. “I really enjoyed that, Alex,” you say, before your brain can catch up with you.
“Me too. Maybe we could go somewhere quieter to talk, huh?”
[[Nod and follow Alex]]
Alex grabs your hand and leads you into an empty stairwell adjacent to the gymnasium. The now upbeat music is almost deafened by the industrial, prison-like walls. Peace at last. Alex sits on the bottom stair. You wait for a moment as they look up at you. “Oh…you...you--ah, okay, yes,” you say, realizing Alex is waiting for you to sit beside them. Alex giggles.
[[Settle in your seat.]]
“I always thought you were really smart, you know,” Alex says, leaning on their hand. You can see their hair is becoming a bit frizzy from the warm atmosphere in the gym, but you think the halo effect it creates is simply adorable. “I always thought you’d be a good influence on me. So many of these people are starting to do bad things, $name. Things our parents always told us not to do.” Alex looks down, almost in shame. “Sometimes I don’t even know who they are anymore.”
[[Stay still]]
[[Wrap your arm around Alex]]
Alex waits and then scoots closer to you and puts their head on your shoulder.
The void Alex left before is now filled with their warmth again. “Alex, if you feel ashamed about something, I’m sure whatever it was you did isn’t that bad...it’s okay to feel weird right now. At least, that’s what the adults say. You know, that this time of our life or whatever is for us to figure out who we are,” you say. Alex looks up at you for a moment, beaming.
“Thanks, $name, that actually means a lot.” Alex sits up and looks at you. Your eyes falter down to their lips. Alex’s eyes...Wait, did Alex just look at my...there’s no way they’d ever want to kiss me. You’re imagining things. Wake up. You blink a few times.
[[Say something]]
Alex leans into your shoulder.The void Alex left before is now filled with their warmth again. “Alex, if you feel ashamed about something, I’m sure whatever it was you did isn’t that bad...it’s okay to feel weird right now. At least, that’s what the adults say. You know, that this time of our life or whatever is for us to figure out who we are,” you say. Alex looks up at you for a moment, beaming.
“Thanks, $name, that actually means a lot.” Alex sits up and looks at you. Your eyes falter down to their lips. Alex’s eyes...Wait, did Alex just look at my...there’s no way they’d ever want to kiss me. You’re imagining things. Wake up. You blink a few times.
[[Say something]]
“You know, Alex I--” Alex interrupts you by putting their lips on yours. OH! Oh! Oh….ohhhh, okay. It’s really wet...huh, people like this? There’s a really awkward, long, pause where both of your lips act like statues...because neither of you know what you’re doing.
Alex pulls away. “I feel like we’re supposed to move or something,” they say.
“Like, our body?” you ask.
“No, I mean, yes...eventually, but I think our lips are supposed to move. At least, it always looks like they do in the movies,” Alex says.
You nod. God, what did I have for dinner again?
[[Move closer to kiss Alex first this time]]
Your lips connect again. This time, you can feel Alex’s lips almost fighting with yours. They widen and close around yours and you follow suit. Alex opens their mouth really wide at first, but then seems to realize that that isn’t quite right. There’s definitely saliva all over your chin because of it, but you also definitely don’t mind. At this moment, you are kissing the love of your life! Alex moves one of their hands to your hair. With sweaty palms, you place your hand on their waist again, like before, but this is different.
[[Put your other hand on the side of Alex’s face]]
Your heart is pounding. So loud that you’re sure Alex can hear it. There’s no way they can’t...it’s so loud. And fast. Every second that passes by feels like years. Every move you make is timid, calculated. Slowly, though, you loosen up and start just letting things happen. Alex backs away briefly, still less than an inch away from your face. Their face is flushed. Their lips are pink. You’re sure yours are as well.
[[Wipe your mouth with your sleeve like an idiot]]“Why did you stop?” you blurt out. Instantly, you regret it, but Alex smiles.
“Didn’t know if you wanted me to,” Alex says. “I mean...I--I want to be polite and give you your space. Whatever you need, you know…” you ramble. Again, Alex interrupts you with a kiss. This time, you’re not stiff at all. You’ve actually never felt this safe or relaxed before. You’ve never felt this happy. You’ve never felt this cool. You’ve never felt special until right now. Alex pulls on your outfit a bit, making your heart jump, and they lean over, pushing you back against the stair railing. This is way too good to be real. This is real, though. I can feel them pinching my skin. Wow, my life is perfect. My life is--
Your train of thought is interrupted when you hear the CRASH, THUMP, AND SQUEAK of a door opening.
[[Pull away from Alex]]
Standing in the doorway is none other than meathead Brian. You gulp. Alex looks at you, you at her, and then both of you look back to Brian. Loud, dumb Brian. Brian, who could ruin everything in an instant. “Now, what do we have here...Alex making out with $name? You’re shitting me, right?” he sneers. Alex gulps and opens their mouth as if they're about to speak, but in an instant, Brian turns around and yells to the whole gymnasium with his loud, booming voice, “GUESS WHAT, GUYS?! I JUST CAUGHT ALEX ROMANOFF PRACTICALLY EATING $name’s FACE OFF!”
[[Feel the air leave your lungs]]
Alex goes pale. The flush in their face? Gone. Those pink lips? Almost like they were never there. Brian turns around, laughing at the pain in Alex’s face. “Alex…” you whisper, putting your hand over theirs. But they snatch it away, stand up, and push past Brian, running.
Brian smirks at you. “I knew Alex was desperate, but I didn’t know they were this desperate,” he says.
“Go to hell, you walking deli meat piece of shit,” you spit as you push past him, following Alex. You can see them running through as the crowd watches on. Some people are in shock. Some are laughing. Some are scowling. Some give you looks of approval, almost pride. It’s disgusting.
[[Run faster]]
<<audio "true" stop>>
You see Alex run past the gym doors out into the cold night. You catch the door right as it’s about to close. The wind cuts like ice. Your teeth chatter. “Alex!” you yell. They don’t turn around. “Alex, please!” You’re almost there, almost caught up. “Alex, stop!” Alex whirls around. You can see a few tears streaming down their face.
“What?!” they yell. Their voice drips with irritation. They type something in their phone and put it away. You slow down, finally close enough to speak.
“Alex, I’m so sorry for what Brian said…” you say, out of breath.
“Why? It was the truth, wasn’t it?” Alex blubbers.
You furrow your eyebrows. “I mean, yeah, but it wasn’t his business,” you speak.
“It’s always everyone’s business, $name. Always,” Alex murmurs, wiping a tear away. Their arms are crossed. You’ve forgotten the cold by now.
[[Step closer.]]
Alex looks at the ground. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m a mess right now, okay? We should just forget this ever happened,” Alex says, still not looking up at you. You feel your heart drop into your gut. “I--I don’t understand,” you stutter. Even though it’s cold, your palms start to sweat again. “What’s there to not understand? It’s simple. We just live our lives like tonight didn’t happen.”
“But it did.”
“Yeah.”
“And….and I thought it was nice.” You gulp.
Alex sighs. “Yes, it was. But that’s all it was. Just nice.” Alex’s voice wavers a bit, almost like they know what they’re saying is horseshit.
Your heart, in your gut, contracts. “So it didn’t mean anything to you?” you breathe. Alex looks down, shaking their head and biting their lip.
“My mom’s on her way…” they say, and all you can do is nod. There are so many words but none of them can escape your mouth. It’s just a jumble of anger, guilt, sadness, and so much pain. All you can manage:
“I’ll see you around, Alex.” You turn away, willing yourself to not look back at Alex. Walking back to the gym, tears silently sliding down your face, you get your phone out and text your mom to come get you.
You lean against the exterior brick wall and slide down until you’re nothing but a curled up bundle of limbs. You shut your eyes to shield them from the choppy wind...
<<if hasVisited ("Prepare for immense amounts of physical pain")>>
[[It's the beginning of the night.]]
<<else>>
[[Who is it?]]
<<endif>>
Ezra doesn’t take your hand. You wipe your hand on your shirt. “Go ahead and ask the question, buddy,” Ezra laughs. You blush. “Wait--um, you mean? Okay, yeah, will you dance--”
“Yes,” Ezra interrupts, grabbing your hand and pulling you to the dance floor. You try to keep up as they push through the crowd. “C’mon, slow-poke!” they yell over their shoulder. You chuckle a bit, starting to loosen up.
[[Hold on tight to Ezra’s hand]]
<<cacheaudio "crows" "Accidentally in Love - Shrek.mp3">>
<<audio "crows" play>>
Suddenly, “Accidentally in Love” by Counting Crows starts playing over the speakers. “I LOVE THIS SONG!” Ezra screams over the music. They start to jump up and down, shaking their arms, their head. There seems to be no planned or contained movements in their body; they’re just feeling the music and releasing its energy. “C’mon, $name, just fucking dance!”
[[Start to twist your hips]] <<cacheaudio "maroon" "She Will Be Loved Maroon 5 Lyrics.mp3">>
“There you go!” Ezra yells, laughing. You laugh, too. Slowly, your movement extends throughout your body--your limbs, legs, head, feet, everywhere. “This is fun!” you yell. Other people are staring at the both of you, but the Serotonin and Dopamine you’re getting right now is way too high to notice. The song ends and you try to catch your breath for a moment. Then, a slow song starts to play: “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5.
[[Scratch your head awkwardly]]<<audio "crows" stop>>
<<audio "maroon" play>>
Ezra looks down awkwardly. “I usually don’t dance to these,” they murmur, picking at the hem of their sleeve. “But, since you danced pretty well last song, I guess I could,” they say, looking up.
“Don’t feel pressured to, Ezra. It’s fine,” you say, looking at your shoes.
“As if anyone could ever peer pressure me into anything,” they retort before pulling you in aggressively and placing your hands on their shoulders. Ezra puts their hands on your hips and you gulp.
[[Start to sway a bit to the music]]
You try to keep an even, natural smile on your face, but it’s difficult. Ezra smelled good, though. Like, really good. It was kind of nice just to chill. And you felt like you were fitting in, despite Ezra’s rambunctious personality. I’m not one of the kids sitting on the sidelines, you think, glancing over at your friend Simon who is standing alone, leaned up against the folded up gym bleachers. He’s got a plastic cup of punch in his hand; he raises it to you before downing it, crunching it in his hand, and tossing it away.
“That Simon guy...” Ezra murmurs. “He’s your friend right.”
You furrow your eyebrows. “Yeah, he’s like my best friend.” Ezra looks over at him.
“He’s pretty cute in my opinion,” Ezra shrugs.
[[Step on Ezra’s foot on accident]]Ezra winces briefly. “Oh, my bad,” you say, flustered. You idiot. Don’t be so surprised they think Simon’s cute. Maybe that’s why they’re dancing with you in the first place. “But, uh, yeah...I mean, you really think so?”
Ezra shrugs. “I’ve got kind of a weird taste,” they chuckle, scanning you from head to toe. I guess Simon is kind of weird-looking, yeah. There’s a moment of silence. “Did you not get my joke?” Ezra asks.
“What joke?”
“That I have weird taste? And...I’m dancing with you...?” she explains.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. Okay. Oh. Wait... You force a chuckle out of your throat. “Ah, I get it. You’re pretty witty, huh?”
[[Let Ezra twirl you]]
“My wit’s about all I got, but of that I do have a lot,” Ezra responds. “Besides my dance moves, of course,” they joke. You smile a bit.
“Right.”
The song ends and Ezra lets go of your hips. Your hands slide off their shoulders and they grab them, kissing each one before kissing your cheek. “For someone who wears old clothes, you smell very nice,” Ezra whispers in your ear. You shiver a bit. Smirking, Ezra walks off. Your eyes follow them as they walk. There’s just something about Ezra. It’s not the same thing as Alex, you sigh, but Ezra does make me feel a bit more alive, I guess.
[[Walk off, towards Simon]]
<<audio "maroon" stop>>
“Hey idiot. Nice one. What’s their name? Ezra, right?” Simon says, handing you some water as you walk up.
“Yeah, Ezra.” You pause. “Actually, they said they thought you were pretty cute. Maybe you should go ask them to dance?” You look at him and follow his eyeline. He’s looking at Ezra. Here we go.
“Yeah, Ezra’s pretty hot in my opinion. Watch my shit, would you?” Simon says before handing you his Coke and half-eaten pizza slice. He jogs over to Ezra, who smiles and pulls him to the dance floor in the same fashion that he was pulled a few minutes ago.
[[Eat some of Simon’s pizza]]
“What’s up, loser?” you hear, and you internally groan. Fuck. You’d recognize that voice anywhere as none other than Brian Hickory Jones, the biggest troublemaker and meathead in the school. “Nice dancing out there, yeah? Who you gonna ask next?”
“Your mom,” you whisper before taking a swig of your water. Brian slaps it out of your hand.
“What did you just say to me, prick?!” Brian says, taking a few steps closer to you.
[[Try not to pee your pants]]
Oh no, $name, what did you just get yourself into? “N--nothing, man. I...I--I promise it was just a joke, alright?” Your heart is beating faster. The last time Brian beat someone up, they ended up in the hospital for the rest of the school year. And apparently, they had to get a heart and brain transplant...at least, that’s what everyone said, anyway.
“No one makes jokes about my mama. And I mean no one,” Brian seethes, backing you up against the folded bleachers. “And if they do, they face the consequences. Big time.” Brian starts to laugh. You look around, but no one is paying attention.
Why the hell are their chaperones at these dances if all they do is flirt with each other? you think, looking out at the various teachers and parents in the crowd.
<<audio "maroon" stop>>
[[Prepare for immense amounts of physical pain]]
“Now, this one...this one is for having an annoying face,” Brian spits before punching your gut. “And this one? This one is for insulting my mama.” He winds up. His bicep is huge. God, how does he not rip his shirt...
You feel your nose physically invert itself back into your body as the fist lands on it. Your tongue? Gone. You swallow it because of the force of the punch. At least 10 teeth fall out of your mouth. You can feel your jaw dislocate, your lip burst open. Only half of your hair is left; the rest fell off and is now in a pile on the sticky gym floor. Your head? Was actually decapitated by the punch, so forget the teeth and hair loss because it doesn’t really matter.
<<if hasVisited("Step closer.")>>
[[It's the beginning of the night.]]
<<else>>
[[Who is it?]]
<<endif>>You move to the back of the gym, your mind racing as you get more and more worried that people are watching you. It’s like you can feel their eyes, but whenever you turn and look, they’re never watching you. They must be really sneaky about it, you think. Once you get to the back and duck behind a folded up table, you finally feel like you can breathe again. Almost immediately, you see Simon’s mom taking big strides towards you with a concerned look on her face.
[[Lean against the wall casually like everything’s fine]]“Hey honey, you doing alright?” she asks in a very motherly tone. Simon is one of six kids, so she’s pretty good at sounding supportive. You’ve known her for a while, and she knows a lot about you as well. You’ve heard how she can be when she gets angry with Simon, but with you she’s always got a kind look in her eyes.
[[Convince her that you’re just chillin’]]“Uh, yeah, totally.. Haha! Just chillin’ ya know,” you stammer out in an attempt to get her off your back. She’s great, but getting caught hanging out with a chaperone would be one of the few things more embarrassing than your clothes right now. “Oh, come on. It’s all right, follow me and let’s talk.”
[[Follow her]]You go around the side of the gym and out one of the doors into the cool courtyard. There are still some people out here, but luckily quite a few less than inside. Simon’s mom leads you to a bench and you both sit down. As you turn to look at her, a crowd of swaying figures behind her catches your attention. You immediately recognize them: Brian and his loyal followers. You and Simon always joke about how Brian chooses short people to hang out with so that he feels taller, but right now they are looking pretty huge. Brian locks eyes with you, and you see the dim light bulb behind his eyes flicker to life as he realizes who you’re talking to.
[[Try to get up and leave]]“No, no, no. Come on, tell me what’s going on,” Simon’s mom asks firmly. You hear people laughing behind her, and it seems to ring in your ears.
[[Stay focused]]
“It’s just… I didn’t have time to get my own clothes and I feel dumb in these.” Your voice is shaking a little bit, but you don’t mind it around her. “Ah, yes, yes, yes,” she says, giving you an empathetic smile. She continues, “Lucky for you, I think I left some safety pins in the car that will do just the trick!” She gets up and immediately starts marching towards the parking lot without giving you any time to refuse. The laughs behind you continue, louder now.
[[Don’t think about it]]
She opens up the minivan and digs through a pile of clothes until she pulls out a small box of safety pins. You turn around, and she begins to go to work pinning your clothes around the waist and up your back to pull them tighter. You turn around and look at her, and she has a concerned look on her face.
[[Make sure everything’s ok]]
You ask, “Is everything alright?” She replies somewhat defensively, saying, “Yeah, yeah, it’s all good, just making sure I’m doing this right.” It makes sense that she wouldn’t know how this works, you realize. Simon always has brand new clothes that fit really well. She finishes up and as you turn around, she says, “There we go, looks like it was made for ya!” Wow, it really does feel a bit better!
[[Thank her]]
“Thank you!” You turn to head back to the dance, but after a few seconds she calls out to you, “Wait wait wait! I’ve got one more thing for ya!” You come back over to the car and she’s waiting there with a pair of shoes that she found at the bottom of the clothes. You put them on and quickly head back to the gym with new energy and confidence.
[[Damn I look good]]
You strut into the gym with big strides, and some people turn to look as you walk straight through the middle of the gym. You can feel their eyes, but now you kind of like it. You glance over to where Alex is standing on the far wall of the gym and find them looking at you. For a moment your gazes meet, then she looks away with an embarrassed look on her face. You smile to yourself. Shit, I might have a chance tonight.
[[Walk over to Alex]]
You begin sauntering towards Alex. The speakers at the front of the gym begin playing some sexy lofi hip hop beats and your steps lock into rhythm with the bass. This is it buddy, time to make a move. Alex turns towards you, and a smile forms on their lips as they see you walking over. Just as a grin begins to absorb your face, Brian steps in front of you.
[[Fuck]]
“Woah, woah, woah, slow down there, $name. What’s the rush?” He takes a step closer to you, and an ungodly amount of Axe body spray smashes into your face. “I was just… uh, going to talk to a, um, friend…” Brian’s big presence has a way of stifling any confidence that you are able to muster up. This confidence continues to leave your body as you feel the pins in your outfit starting to loosen.
[[Fuck fuck fuck]]
“Oh you mean Alex?” Brain sneers at you. “I thought Simon’s mom was your date.” A small circle of people begin to form around the two of you, locking you in. “Look, Brian, I’m just trying to have a nice night, leave me alone,” you say with a hint of anger in your voice. “Leave you alone? How could you have fun without me, huh?” He gives you a little shove on the shoulder, but it was certainly not friendly. You notice that Alex has joined the circle enclosing the confrontation, and for a second, your eyes meet. I shouldn’t just sit here and take this.
[[Shove Brian back]]
You turn back to Brian and look him dead in the eyes as you shove him away with both hands. For a second, he looks a little bit shocked that you retaliated. But that shock quickly shifts into steaming anger. He takes two strong steps towards you and it feels like the earth is shaking underneath his heavy feet. You look up to meet his glare as he bounds towards you. His red eyes are waiting for you.
[[Back up quickly]]
[[Stay there and take it]]
Brian’s hands connect with your shoulders like two sledgehammers, sending you backwards. You begin to take a step to try to catch yourself, but your leg is stopped dead before you can put your foot down.My shoelaces. You had never tied them when you put the new shoes on because you were so excited to get back to the dance. So, you crashed downward towards the ground butt first and with a petrified look on your face.
[[Put your hands down to stop you]]
You begin to back up, but your leg is stopped dead before you can put your foot down. My shoelaces. You had never tied them when you put the new shoes on because you were so excited to get back to the dance. So, you crashed downward towards the ground butt first and with a petrified look on your face.
[[Put your hands down to stop you]]
You plant your hands right before you slam into the ground, but it's too late. Your tailbone hits the gym floor hard followed by the rest of your back. A sharp pain travels up your spine. Too sharp. You lie there stunned for a moment before screaming out into the gym. It hurts so much! The safety pins, having come loose earlier, had lodged themselves into your spine in multiple places. You try to roll over as blood quickly begins to pool under you, but you realize that you can’t move your legs.
[[Writhe around on the floor]]The pin must have severed part of your spinal cord, and your legs now lay lifeless on the ground. Your screams are now a mix between fear and pain, but luckily, the petrified faces around you begin to dim as your screams grow quieter and quieter. Your reality begins to cave in around you, and a final thought crosses your adrenaline-soaked mind before you black out: I don’t think I like acupuncture.
[[It's the beginning of the night.]] I’m done, You think to yourself. I’m tired of things going wrong just because I’m scared to stand up for myself. You feel a new type of confidence rising in you, something you’ve never felt before. Taking a deep breath, you turn back to the door of the gym. It’s your turn.
[[Find Brian]]
You exit the gym into the cool, fresh air. To your left you see the punch bowl. You smile faintly at it. Memories. But no. You must focus. Snapping your attention back to the present, you scan the courtyard for Brian’s familiar form. There, hunched in a corner with his ratty friends. You take a step towards him, but stop. You can’t get your revenge when he’s with his buddies. You’d die. Instead, you cup your hands to your mouth. “BRIAN!” you yell. His head snaps up, immediately on alert. Looking you up and down, he smirks and gets to his feet. Leaving his friends behind, he starts to walk towards you slowly, like a lion stalking its prey.
[[Hold your ground]]Your heart pounds, but you know the last thing you want to do is run. You tip your chin towards him. “What?” you ask. “Have something to say about my outfit?” He laughs. “Yeah. You look like a hobo. Where’d you get that, the dumpster outside the high school?” You back cautiously towards the snacks table, the beginnings of an idea forming in your mind. Brian steps forward with you. When you reach the table, you can feel the punch bowl at your back.
[[Avoid his push]]As he lunges toward you, you duck to the side. Brian tries to catch himself, but his momentum carries him forward and he crashes into the table-- specifically, into the punch bowl. The ladle goes flying and the red punch splashes everywhere, soaking you, Brian, and the three dumbstruck kids behind the table. All hell breaks loose. Kids are crying, adult supervisors are yelling, and Brian has a murderous look on his face. But it’s not long before a teacher is standing in front of you. “Who’s responsible for this mess?” You’re so little that his booming voice sounds like a giant.
[[Pin it on Brian]]“Brian knocked over the punch bowl,” you say. “He thought it’d be funny. I tried to stop him, but he didn’t listen.” Brian sputters angrily, but hardly gets a word in before hauled off by the teacher like a criminal. You feel your shoulders relax. But you’re not out of hot water just yet. Behind you, you hear a familiar voice. “$name? What happened?” You turn, and see Alex. You’re damp with punch and wearing your oversized outfit, but at least you’re not lying in a puddle in the bathroom.
[[Shoot your shot]]“Alex,” you say, “would you like a dance?” They stare at you for what feels like the longest few seconds of your life. “You just made Brian fall into the punch,” they retort. “I saw everything. What kind of a person would do that?” “NO!” you cry. “You don’t understand! He was bullying me! I was standing up for myself!” Alex shakes their head. “That’s not standing up for yourself, $name. Standing up for yourself is not taking any crap. What you did was just cruel.” Alex turns to walk away. Last chance, you realize.
[[Grab their hand very romantically]]
You lunge forward and take their right hand, interlacing your fingers with theirs. “Alex,” you begin to say. But they whip their hand away. “You’re a horrible person and I never want to see you again,” they say. The confidence you have been operating on evaporates, and you feel it replaced by an intense rage. “Fine,” you spit at them. “Reject me. But just know that you’re never going to find anyone who likes you like I did, because you’re ugly, mean, and everyone hates you.”
[[That feels good.]]Alex freezes, still looking at you. You watch as they take a step back, never breaking eye contact. Their beautiful eyes begin to brim with tears. Their beautiful lip begins to tremble. And then-- they start to cry. You turn away. A tiny part of you feels bad, but you squash it because, approaching you, is the most popular person in the eighth grade. You don’t remember their name, but you do know two things-- they’re pretty, and they’re in front of you.
[[Be normal]]You put your hands behind your back and try to act casual. You’re certain the popular kid is going to pass right by you anyway. They don’t. They stop in front of you. “Did you just turn down Alex?” they ask you. You blink. What? “Yeah,” you manage to say. “Why?” They shrug. “Alex is awesome. That takes guts. And a little bit of stupidity. Why would you do it?”
[[Lie to impress them]]You flash a cheeky grin. “They weren’t good enough for me.” You feel a spark. You hope they feel it too. A second later, they confirm it. “Am I good enough for you?” You raise your eyebrows. “What do you think?”
[[Take them dancing]]You take them by the arm and lead them into the gym, just as a slow song comes on. You put your arms on them and start to sway. They do the same to you. You feel as if you can do anything. This is it, you think to yourself. This is my happy ending. As you two dance, the world seems to fall away, until it’s just you and them.
[[Dance the night away]]When the clock strikes ten, you take your date outside and wave them goodbye as they climb into their parent’s car. The dance has turned out better than you had ever imagined. You can’t wait to get home, snuggle up in bed, and drift off. A perfect ending to a perfect night. But then… you hear someone crying. It seems to be coming from a bush.
[[Investigate]]You peer over the bush and see… Brian? He looks up at you. Against your better instincts, you open your mouth. “Brian?” you ask. “What’s wrong?” Brian shifts so he is facing you. “I’m suspended,” he mumbles. “I couldn’t pay for the punch I spilled and I didn’t want to call my parents so they suspended me for causing a disruption. I didn’t-- I didn’t mean for anything to get out of hand like this.” He buries his head in his hands. “My mom’s gonna kill me. And I ruined my dad’s shirt.” You shift uncomfortably. “Brian, I’m-” He scowls at you. “Just go away, $name. You’ve done enough already.”
[[Leave him be]]
As you back away, you see, out of the corner of your eye, Alex. They’re sitting in the passenger seat of their mom’s car, and they’re crying too. Their mom has her arm around them, trying to comfort them, but nothing seems to be working. They’re distraught. Suddenly, you don’t feel as good.
[[Sit down and have a good long think]]You return to your spot on the grass and slowly lower yourself down. You think about the night. You did everything you came to do. You stood up for yourself-- twice! And you got the most popular kid in school to dance with you, to be your date. But then the tear streaked faces of Brian and Alex enter your mind. Was it worth it? You had the perfect evening. But you ruined theirs. It leads you to one final thought: if you could go back, would you do it again? Or would you accept that, as painful as this night may have been originally, it made you who you ultimately became. And at no one else’s expense. So… what would you rather have?
[[Let things happen as they did originally]]
[[Stick to this timeline]]
You decide to let go of this night. Even though you ended it happy, two other people didn’t. You close your eyes and imagine everything from that night exactly as it went down, from showing up in your ridiculous outfit to crouching, cold and alone, behind the gym. It sucked. But it was for the best. You open your eyes and you’re standing on your doorstep, clutching the invitation. You feel refreshed. Satisfied. You know that you’ve made the right decision. THE ENDNo. You may have hurt people, but they hurt you first. You decide to hold onto this timeline, knowing that you got your perfect dance. You ride home with joy in your heart. But, as you climb into bed that night, you feel something sad weighing you down. You want to drift off, to dream of butterflies and unicorns, but a lump in your throat keeps you awake. You can’t help but feel that you’ve made the wrong decision. But you suppose it’s too late now. THE END