You "liked" the post.\n\nA child in Africa died anyway.\n\n[[YouTube maybe?|youtube]]
The receptionist get's afraid and in your silly pop culture mess of a life you feel like Brad Pitt in Fight Club when he tells the store clerk to become a vet.\n\n\n\nBut without the same authority.\n\nSome co-workers comes by and ask what the hell's wrong with you (even though your hair looks awesome), maybe it's [[something wrong with them|wrong co-worker]] or [[is it something wrong with you?|wrong with you]]
You die.\nFrozen smile on your face.\n\nThe end.
The unemployment office judges you, as it's the only pleasure they have. Metaphorical executions transpire by forcing "job" upon "job" onto the leeches.\n\nSwitch hammer for a cab.\nA calculator for a broom.\nA frying pan for a phone.\nA register for a forklift.\nA soul for a job.\n\nWhy can't you just conform and stand in line like everybody else?\nWhy must you have own goals and wishes?\n\nYou're probably a lousy parasite sucking the last surge of energy out of the poor people who actually contribute to society.\n\nSilly courses are endless to take.\nInterest is fake.\nYour future is not yours to make.\n\n[[skip it|hobo]]\n[[get another job|start2]]
There hasn't really been made a movie since Jaws in the "monster-who-fuck-up-humans" genre.\n\nWhy didn't Spielberg continue onwards with more horror?\n\n[[< back up from the water|relaxdott]]
Spring turns to summer.\nSummer turns to fall.\nFall turns to winter.\nWinter turns on you.\n\nBegging, stealing, asking.\n\nYou have frozen water in a bottle.\nCold coins in your pocket.\nEmpty stomach.\nReal life filled eyelids.\n\nDid you make [[the right decision|right]] or did you make [[the wrong one|wrong]] upon leaving the "normal" world behind, hoping that the streets would alter the road towards the inevitable?
You delete all your work.\nYou delete you.\nYou delete salvation.\n\nMaybe [[ctrl+z|filter2]]?\nOr is it [[pointless anyway?|boss]]
You continue onwards, passing the planned lunch place where you were supposed to eat the latest hot trendy food.\n\nYour feet take you forward until you're in a new neighborhood you've never seen as the subway don't provide a view.\n\nYour building looks very small in the distance.\n\nYour front door's distinctive color eases your mind.\n\nYour sofa is soooo comfy.\n\nYour TV would say "Welcome home roomie!" (if it could speak).\n\nYour time is now.\n\nYour phone calls.\n\n[[answer|answeryes2]]\n[[let it ring|unemployment]]
James Brown and you feel the same way right now.\nYou wished you also wore a cape as you do feel as a hero.\n\nThe words that bombard you and your co-workers are apparently nothing against that little word called "no".\n\n[[carry on|gotfired]]\n\n
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Your boss, if only for a seconds, contemplates murdering you as this means that he needs to do actual work.\n\nHe tries reasoning with you and getting you to [[change your mind|yes]] but you'd rather just keep [["working"|fake work3]].
There's a small window between 5pm and 9pm where your sighs turns into inhales. That window where the next day still is a few hours away and you feel like you've accomplished something by doing what everybody else in the world does: work.\n\nThe endless loop is paused and your real life commences as you aid the small window to provide you with air to breathe by turning off your phone.\n\nThe ASAP:s are gone and the buzz words laid to rest.\n\nHead above water.\nShoulders descent.\nForehead straightened.\nBPM slowing down.\n\nYet another day is hatching. The same loop, choices made yesterday are forgotten, choices made today went unheard, choices made tomorrow are repetitive. \n\nYour diary's content could kill people by boredom.\n\nDo you want to [[set the alarm|start2]] or [[just skip it|hobo]]?
You unleash hell..\n\nPeople you've worked with are but mere mortals in your godlike state when you shoulder the role of the working class hero performing a verbal office shooting - firing your own truths, thoughts and ideas.\n\nBystanders and victims go from shocked to angry.\n\nYou meet a opposition and maybe it's better to [[retreat|deskwrong]] or [[go home|kickback]]
The fakeness and harshness of the modern day slaveholder is a burden you just can't bare today.\n\nYou decide to not answer the phone and instead let the phone's signal fade out in the sun-filled apartment that will act as your castle of joy.\n\nTo exchange breakfast for candy, coffee for soda, work for movies and video games is a no-brainer.\n\nBut should you watch all [[Jaws movies|jaws]] or should you play [[Day of the Tentacle|dott]] on your laptop in bed?\n\nYou get a "you're fired" mail during a Star Wars marathon and accept the unavoidable as you haven't got back to work in a few weeks. But you listen to Yoda's words of wisdom as he trains Luke in the Dagobah system and feels as if he speaks to you.\n\nYou can either visit the [[unemployment office|unemployment]] or simply get kicked out of your apartment and become a [[hobo|hobo]].
You excuse yourself and point to the fact that your night was horrible, you're under a lot of stress and why not lie a bit about your homelife?\n\nQuestions regarding what's wrong with you, what you were thinking, and how you would feel arise and you find it hard to answer them as you don't really can't explain it.\n\nTo go to [[your desk|desk]] will be awkward beyond belief so maybe you should go [[home|kickback]]?
There's a subtle verbal dance a you fake a cough but due to union rules and laws your boss can't really call you on it. Your boss must accept that you're "ill".\n\nAbout 2 weeks transpire until you get fired for being sick. You calculate the option of suing your boss but as you've actually not been sick you can't really present any evidence.\n\nEither you can [[visit the unemployment office|unemployment]] or [[speed up the process on becoming a hobo|hobo]].
You enter one of Dante's realms of hell as you pass by the receptionist which actually provokes you as you feel that she wastes her life sitting here opening doors for people who can clearly open doors by themselves and answering phones that can be answered by the people who people who're calling are asking for anyway.\n\nYou just want to [[grab her and scream|screamcond]] that she should get the hell out of here or [[why bother|desk]]?
You die.\n\nA few people come to your funeral.\n\nSomeone has mixed up your favorite song with a song by Jewel.\n\nThe guy from work that you hate holds a speech about that time when you went abroad together to meet that client and how much super fun you had!\n\nYour body rots.\n\nSome kind of worm lays eggs inside your eyeball.\n\nThere's no heaven or hell.\n\nThe end.
You hate that you're an adult and would much rather just stay at home and watch [[Back to the Future|movie]] instead and eat junk food.\n\nBut you don't!\n\nInstead you start the day with a heavy [[sigh|sigh]], one of many that you give oral birth to throughout the day.
Do you want to say [["no"|noagain]] to the following 100 hundred meetings held at work where you're suppose to present a chart, keynote or diagram?\n\nOr is it better to just make your boss [[a bit angry|noonce]] instead?
Good morning again!\n\nYou wake up as your new alarm clock reminds your ears to send information to your brain that it's time to open your eyes and feel your aching body as you realize that it's not Saturday nor Sunday (the only days that matter).\n\nThere's always an option to either [[snooze|snooze]] or [[get up.|get up]]
As you've already taken a non-adult decision to just sit around at home watching one of the best movies of all time you have to decide whether to watch just the [[first movie|b2f1]] or watch [[the whole trilogy|b2f3]].
Yet another sigh, pungent with fumes of misery leaves your oral womb, making desk neighbors' eyes shift left to right - noticing without being noticed. Some might feel the urge to release their own sigh baby but fear made-up consequences based on horror stories that rides the worker as a drunken cowboy overusing the spurs.\n\n[[Check the e-mail|e-mail]] or [[fake work|fake work]] are your only options besides [[standing up and leave work|kickback]]
You are now fired.\n\n[[Fast track to the streets|hobo]]\n[[Try the unemployment office|unemployment]]
A bit naively you hoped that the conditioner would continue down your roots and enter your brain, altering your state of mind.\n\nBut that would probable be un-legal.\n\n[[Going to work|gotoworkcond]] is the next step in a clean grown-up's life.
Jaws rules.\n\nIs it time for the [[unemployment office|unemployment]] or simply get kicked out of your apartment and become a [[hobo|hobo]]?
Your inbox is overfilled with mails that more or less concern those who care about yet another initiated process for internal restructuring.\n\nThe buzzwords are the real life spam as you at least understand what the e-mails caught by your spam filter mean.\n\nMaybe [[creating a filter|filter]] that detects all buzzwords and just not get e-mails anymore.
Day of the Tentacle rules.\n\nIs it time for the [[unemployment office|unemployment]] or simply get kicked out of your apartment and become a [[hobo|hobo]]?
..the counter stops.\n\nLike the little Dutch boy you've managed to stop the flood. You look up and turn your head probing the surroundings feeling as you've discovered the cure for work-cancer.\n\n1 mail slips through and as you feel confident in your diabolic solution you feel pretty safe on [[clicking it|clickit]] but what if you [[missed something in your design?|delete]]\n\n
Words regarding environmental impact.\nPercentages adjusted to ease consciousness.\nTruths barely visible due to smog build by lies.\n\n[[Tell the truth|truth]]\n[[Lie your ass off|lietoclient]]
Your breath is reeking with a stale odor that's been aging inside your mouth during the night.\n\nYou consider [[skipping all hygien|hygien]] issues today at the same time as it might be beneficial to [[take a shower|shower]].
You didn't "like" the post.\n\nA child in Africa died.\n\n[[YouTube maybe?|youtube]]
workday choices\n
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What happened with Robert Zemeckis? He did like more action packed movies during the 80s but have in the later years focused more on drama instead.. Nothing wrong with some of his latest movies but still.\n\nMcFly still kicks ass but are you sure you don't want to [[watch the rest of the movies|b2f3]] or should you [[get your ass to work?|worklate]].
You spend the next 2,5 hours on creating the filter. For the untrained eye it even looks as if you're working.\n\n[[activate|activate]]\n[[scrap the filter|scrapfilter]]
The fakeness that fills the other line of the phone is laughable as your boss starts off by asking you:\n\n"..Uhhm, yeah Good morning! Just wanted to check if you're sick or, well you know, because I saw that you we're out partying yesterday on Facebook, but I don't want, well do you, are ..\n\nYou get angry as not even in this situation your boss can be decisive, even though you are late - at the same time as you find it weird that other people can come 45 minutes late but if you're a nanosecond late all hell breaks loose.\n\n"..are you ill? do you come in today when we have that big meeting with yet another generic client who does nothing revolutionary in any way..?"\n\n(the boss doesn't really says that but it's in the subtext).\n\n[[Lie and say that you're sick|lie]] or [[go to work|gotowork]] are your two options.\n\nYou can also [[kill yourself|suicide]] or [[quit|quit]]
Life is seldom affected by conditioners.\nA thought runs through your head reminding you that life possibly is affected more times by shampoo than conditioner.\n\nA valid hypothesis, but pointless.\n\n[[Going to work|gotoworkcond]] is the next step in a clean grown-up's life.
The guilt trip is massive even though your dad really isn't smart enough to fuck you up and manipulate you to that extent that you think that he does.\n\nand..\n\n..you hate dreaming about him, you hate the sounds that he makes when you see him, you hate how he screwed with your head so you'll never be pleased with whatever work you'll ever have, you hate that he manages to push all of your buttons and you hate that he forgets your birthday and you hate that you even spend this much time thinking about him and you hate that you'll never have a good relationship with him and you hate that he'll one day die.\n\n[[< back to the harsh reality|snooze]]
Good morning!\n\nYou wake up as your alarm reminds your ears to send information to your brain that it's time to open your eyes and feel your aching body as you realize that it's Monday.\n\nThere's always an option to either [[snooze|snooze]] or [[get up.|get up]]
The conference room is drained from oxygen and you start to suffocate slowly at the same time as you wonder if there's not a conspiracy behind bad air at schools and workplaces - making sure that one have enough energy to rebel.\n\nYou shake hands with the client.\nYou forget the client's name directly after you let go off the hand.\nYour boss presents you as an aid or assistant.\nYou're supposed to take a step back whilst words come out of mouths but nothing is said.\n\n[[Time for presentation of something|present]].\n\n
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Escapism saves you.\n\nGreen and Purple Tentacles are really fun and you start playing this game for the 11th time.. this year.\n\n[[< back to a world without time machines|relaxjaws]]
The e-mail contains nothing of value to you.\nDue to poor writing you even get dumber reading it.\n\n[[delete|delete]]
Like the twist of a wand, it's back in front of your eyes.\nWhat it you could get back friends, family, self esteem and self respect in the same manner?\n\n[[activate|activate]]\n[[scrap the filter|scrapfilter]]
You escape to the Internet.\nFacebook acts as a brothel keeper where you can find people who make you happy yet again.\n\nA friend has provided you with a post where he points out that small children die from starvation in some country in Africa (he doesn't know where exactly), he's urging people to [[like the post|likepost]] or you can just [[don't like it|dontlike]].
You turn off the alarm and get back to sleep - and even though you're an adult you contemplate the possibility that someone from work won't call and that people will just let you be. But you're wrong.\n\nTo [[answer|answeryes]] or [[not to answer|answerno]] is always the question.
You calmly explain to your boss that you simply won't come in anymore. As you slowly transport your phone from your ear to the table in your hall where that grocery list still lies since that party you held - your boss screams grows thinner and thinner until they're gone and you'll never hear them again.\n\nBut now your ass is unemployed and you can either just [[kick back|hobo]] for the entire day or [[visit the unemployment office|unemployment]].
Like a night stalker your boss prowls his domain;\n\nA flock of sheep in the middle whilst the "alpha" roams the outer edges. Everybody is on edge hoping not to be spotted whilst faking work at the same time as they hope to be spotted while actually doing real work.\n\nYou're in the "alpha's" cross hair and as he closes in, his feet reminds you that you're supposed to attend yet another super fun, evolving and engaging meeting with the best client in the world!\n\n"..are you up for the meeting in 5 minutes?"\n\n[[lie and say yes|yes]]\n[[tell the truth and say no|no]]
In the 2,5 hours you spent creating your filter.\nA new buzzword was born.\nTo restrain the constant flow is impossible.\n\nCan this be [[worth reading|read]] or should you just [[delete|delete]]?
1 hour parole.\n1 hour to see something else.\n1 hour where you decide.\n\nThis hour is very important and [[maybe it can be even longer|kickbacklunch]] or is time [[to go back?|backtowork]]
You die.\nFrozen tears on your face.\n\nThe end.
Glad to see (video)\nSad to read (comments)\n\nForest creatures have gone digital roaming the Internet, finding brain food without daring to taste it, instead unloading loathe.\n\n[[Check e-mail|e-mail]]\n[[More Internet!|fake work2]]
Armpits filled with 8 hours of twisting and turning provides your aura with an interesting odor.\n\nYour breath makes your imagination run and maybe a small bird flew into your mouth during the night and hurled up some food in there meant to be saved for the younglings?\n\n[[go to work|worklate]]
Like all three movies is a must, or else it's just like watching like one episode of The Office. You must see the whole series.\n\n[[Time for work|worklate]] or do you wanna [[feel free|kickback]]?
540 more seconds of peace embrace your body and wraps it in that limbo like state where you're not sleeping and you're not awake.\n\nYou dream of a [[whales|whale]], [[Keanu Reeves|KR]] and [[your dad|dad]] - all in a cacophony of weirdness and euphoria as you, for 540 seconds more control your so called life.\n\nThe alarm starts yet again and you ponder upon if you should just [[turn it off|turnitoff]] or [[get up|get up]]
Your resignation letter is already in the making mentally as your boss walks away and you retreat to your digital escapism.\n\nJust a [[a bit longer until lunch|lunch]].
Whales are truly awesome. You come to think of [[this|http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdwBBs67dSY]] and how much you cried when the mother died.\n\n[[< back to reality|snooze]]
There's nothing wrong with some laughs now and then.\nYou carry on and amuse yourself to see when the nodding heads reach sync.\n\nInterruption leads to credits being stolen as you boss "rounds up" the presentation.\n\nApplause CAN be directed.\n\n[[lunch time|lunch]]
\n\n[[b e g i n|Startreal]]\n\n\n\[email protected]@font-size: 40%;Made by [[@PaperBlurt|https://twitter.com/paperblurt]]@@\[email protected]@font-size: 40%;More stuff at [[PaperBlurt.com|http://www.paperblurt.com]]@@
The fakeness that fills the other line of the phone is laughable as your boss starts by asking you:\n\n"..Uhhm, yeah Hi! Just wanted to check if you're sick or, well you know, because you were at work before, and.. now you're not.."\n\n"..are you ill? or what's the dealio?"\n\n(yeah. what is the "dealio"?).\n\n[[Lie and say that you're sick|lie]] or [[go to work|backtowork]] are your two options.\n\nYou can also [[kill yourself|suicide]] or [[quit|quit]].
Friends, family, landlords, colleagues, bosses, old school mates and more or less everybody else you meet during a lifetime will eventually get sick of your unemployed ass is mooching on their couch, eating their food and cutting your finger nails in their bathroom.\n\nAs you slowly realize that life revolves around mindless tasks, borrowing money from banks and spending them in stores and then, finally die you [[make refugee for the streets|streets]].
You get to keep your job, yet another day.\n\nYAY for you!\n\nBoss is pleased, client can't sleep tonight and you don't have to be without all that super important stuff in life!(?)\n\n[[Lunch|lunch]]
You enter (un-showered and with messy hair) one of Dante's realms of hell as you pass by the receptionist which actually provokes you as you feel that she wastes her life sitting here opening doors for people who can clearly open doors by themselves and answering phones that can be answered by the people who people who're calling are asking for anyway.\n\nYou just want to [[grab her and scream|scream]] that she should get the hell out of here or [[why bother|desk]]?
You feel responsible as you actually starts working on that report that apparently needs to be done as some client somewhere in the world have asked for it and you got the task 3 weeks ago but nobody, not even the client, have asked for it since then.\n\nCTRL+C (old report)\nCTRL+V (new report)\n\nJust replace the images.\nGoogle provides you with porn instead of corporate feel good.\nNSFW isn't suitable for anyone.\n\nThe clock strikes [[5:00pm|home]]
Your home is your castle.\nAnd you rule over the toaster, frying pan, TV, bed, sofa and even the mold in the bathroom.\nDecisions need to be made.\nYou spread the blinds with your chocolate covered fingers to look at other, maybe stronger, maybe happier, maybe sadder, maybe more stressed, maybe less stressed people in the outside world.\n\nEven those who rule will find that they're repercussions for the ones saying “no” as time passes by.\n\nYour phone is calling.\n\n[[answer|answeryes]]\n[[let it ring|hobo]]
You are an office ninja.\nReflexes that react to every movement.\nTo every sound.\nALT+TAB are your weapons. \n\nYou know how to plan, execute and avoid having to work.\nIt's a full time job.\n\nThe conspiracy clock strikes [[5:00pm|home]]\n
YouTube makes you [[dumber|youdumb]] or [[smarter|yousmart]].
As many other of the 28.000 showers that you take during your lifetime, tears roll down your shampoo stained cheeks (which you also blame for the tears), fooling both yourself and others that might have seen you.\n\nThe shower leads to a clean physical state but you still feel a sensation of a rotten soul.\n\nCan this day be saved by [[using conditioner|useit]] or will life continue on in the save manner so you could [[skip it|notuseit]].
You, within your dreamlike state wonder why Keanu Reeves keep getting roles and if you wouldn't have been an awesome Neo or the hero from "Speed".\n\n[[< back to the non-Hollywood life you live|snooze]]
At your desk again.\n\nThe clock is actually going backwards. You've seen it before and now and then it goes the other way.\n\nIs it rigged maybe? How big is this conspiracy? Are all companies in on it? Is the grass greener elsewhere? Is the coffee blacker in the office next door?\n\n[[Dodge work for the remainder of the day|dodge]] is always a possible exit.. but you know that work keeps piling up and there's [[no escape|workhard]].\n\n
Feces in faces.\nCats on mats.\nPugs on rugs.\nFaceplant kids.\nFacepalm memes.\nBruises on Bruces'.\nGrrls, Girlz and Gurls.\n\n[[Check e-mail|e-mail]]\n[[More Internet!|fake work2]]\n\n
Adult life presents few options to get rid of everyday problems and even though your feelings get tangled within your mind you don't envy the person who inherits your burden.\n\nIs a [[a new job an option|unemployment]] or do you think it might be better [[to be free|hobo]]?
Faked diagrams are exposed and possible death tolls do matter no matter the ethnicity, gender or age.\n\nYour boss starts sweating and finally screams a questions that's obvious "What are you doing?".\n\n[[telling the truth of course|truth2]]\n[[just having a bit of funny|fun]]\n
The only thing more horrible than a clown not getting any laughs is the whistle blower not getting any cheers.\n\nExposure is sleep deprivation for some and blissful rest for others.\n\n[[HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA|spiceitup]]\n[[Walk away|kickback]]
You enter one of Dante's realms of hell as you pass by the receptionist which actually provokes you as you feel that she wastes her life sitting here opening doors for people who can clearly open doors by themselves and answering phones that can be answered by the people who people who're calling are asking for anyway.\n\nYou just want to [[grab her and scream|screamcond]] that she should get the hell out of here or [[why bother|desk]]?
You rush towards your desk feeling chased by zombies, trying to get to the chopper before it's late.\n\nBut the desk provides no salvation in form of an invisibility sphere sheltering you from the co-workers whispers.\n\nBasically nobody knows how to handle this, as they seldom do.\n\nAt your desk.. yet another sigh, pungent with fumes of misery leaves your oral womb, making desk neighbors' eyes shift left to right - noticing without being noticed.\n\n[[Check the e-mail|e-mail]] or [[fake work|fake work]] are your only options besides [[standing up and leave work|kickback]]
The receptionist get's afraid and in your silly pop culture mess of a life you feel like Brad Pitt in Fight Club when he tells the store clerk to become a vet.\n\n\n\nBut without the same authority.\n\nSome co-workers comes by and ask what the hell's wrong with you, maybe it's [[something wrong with them|wrong co-worker]] or [[is it something wrong with you?|wrong with you]]
Instant snapshots, maybe "grams" as in telegram, reveals truths such as friends that eat breakfast, drinks beer, and sometimes are on vacation where they, unlike many other, goes on sight seeing or swim in the ocean.\n\n[[Check e-mail|e-mail]]
It's cathartic to get rid of trash.\n\nYou would continue on throwing stuff away;\n\nyour chair\nyour desk\nyour computer\nyour paperclips\nyour pen\nyour pencil\nyour ruler\nyour calculator\nyour boss\n\nAs a mind reader your boss seams to scan your thoughts and heads over. That super important, mega fun, joy-spreading client is coming in a few minutes and are you up for the meeting?\n\n[[lie and say yes|yes]]\n[[tell the truth and say no|no]]