Grill Masterclass 11.12

Welcome To Grill Master Class! To earn your Grill Master's degree, correctly answer the following [[5 Questions]].

Round 3: Fancy Grillin' Should you grill: [[A) Pizza]] [[B) Avocado]] [[C) Beer Can Chicken]] [[D) None Of the Above]]

Round 1: Beefs Which beef is the grillin' beef? [[A) Burgers]] [[B) Dogs]]

''Ya wrong.'' //Nick says:// I've never eaten a slice of pizza and thought, //“The only thing that would make this better is if some asshole named Todd had grilled it in his back yard.”// Worst case scenario it gets stuck, best case scenario it has those wacky, burnt grill-grooves on the bottom, and you’ve somehow succeeded in making a deli panini worse. <a href="https://ibb.co/GFGM5Br"><img src="https://i.ibb.co/0Q19G8z/Screen-Shot-2020-09-09-at-4-30-08-PM.png" alt="Screen-Shot-2020-09-09-at-4-30-08-PM" border="0"></a> <a target='_blank' href='https://imgbb.com/'></a> If you’re gonna grill something, have a reason. The misguided masculine impulses that produce grilled avocado - //‘cados are for cucks, grill out the gay// - and beer can chicken - //better grill this, and just to be safe, shove a can of Coors up its ass// - are not reasons. [[Round 4]]

''Correct!'' //Nick says:// I've never eaten a slice of pizza and thought, //“The only thing that would make this better is if some asshole named Todd had grilled it in his back yard.”// Worst case scenario it gets stuck, best case scenario it has those wacky, burnt grill-grooves on the bottom, and you’ve somehow succeeded in making a deli panini worse. <a href="https://ibb.co/GFGM5Br"><img src="https://i.ibb.co/0Q19G8z/Screen-Shot-2020-09-09-at-4-30-08-PM.png" alt="Screen-Shot-2020-09-09-at-4-30-08-PM" border="0"></a> <a target='_blank' href='https://imgbb.com/'></a> If you’re gonna grill something, have a reason. The misguided masculine impulses that produce grilled avocado - //‘cados are for cucks, grill out the gay// - and beer can chicken - //better grill this, and just to be safe, shove a can of Coors up its ass// - are not reasons. [[Round 4]]

Round 4: Skewers True or false: The perfect skewer contains a *breadth* of culinary delights. [[A) True]] [[B) False]]

''Incorrect.'' //Grill Masterclass Kaplan Tutor says:// The best approach to this question is the process of elimination. A hot dog can only be a grillin’ beef, as it can never be an indoor beef – that shit’s just depressing. And when eaten in a movie theater, downright criminal, reeking up my theater with your hammy-ass dog. A burger is to be smashed on your cast iron, in this (link: "wise.")[(gotourl: "https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/03/ultra-smashed-cheeseburger-recipe-food-lab.html")] [[Round 2]]

''Correct!'' //Grill Masterclass Kaplan Tutor says:// The best approach to this question is the process of elimination. A hot dog can only be a grillin’ beef, as it can never be an indoor beef – that shit’s just depressing. And when eaten in a movie theater, downright criminal, reeking up my theater with your hammy-ass dog. A burger is to be smashed on your cast iron, in this (link: "wise.")[(gotourl: "https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/03/ultra-smashed-cheeseburger-recipe-food-lab.html")] [[Round 2]]

//A sponsored message from That Asshole Todd’s says:// We here at That Asshole Todd’s are proud to introduce our newest menu item, Mixed Skewers: It’s got raw onion. Lukewarm tomato. A petrified chicken cube. And an entire burnt jalapeño. All served together on one searing hot pointy stick. //Greenberg says:// Everything has a different cooking time and technique. As such, skewers must be kept to a single delight. They are best when used for succulent, marinated, mono-meats, and for wrangling shrimp – rascals of the grill. Anyway, you were wrong. [[The Final Round]]

''Incorrect.'' //Grill Masterclass Kaplan Tutor says:// This question is challenging, as both are difficult to grill without a significant portion falling into a pit of fire. Using logic, because //both// will inevitably look like they were in a flaming car wreck, presentaysh is impossible and the answer is B. Purchase salmon, swordfish, never tuna steak (you’ve never had a good tuna steak) and always make a (link: "sauce.")[(gotourl: "https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/12790-grilled-fish-with-salsa-verde")] [[Round 3]]

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''Correct!'' //Grill Masterclass Kaplan Tutor says:// This question is challenging, as both are difficult to grill without a significant portion falling into a pit of fire. Using logic, because //both// will inevitably look like they were in a flaming car wreck, presentaysh is impossible and the answer is B. Purchase salmon, swordfish, never tuna steak (you’ve never had a good tuna steak) and always make a (link: "sauce.")[(gotourl: "https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/12790-grilled-fish-with-salsa-verde")] [[Round 3]]

Round 2: Feesh You're informed that one of your guests is a pescatarian. They sound awesome. When going all the fuckin’ way back to fuckin’ Whole Foods to buy their fish, you should purchase: [[A) A whole fish for presentaysh]] [[B) A filet o' fish to play it safe]]

Round 5: Vegetables, Meats Of The Ground Which is best? [[A) Whole eggplant, corn on the Cobb, shishitos]] [[B) Sliced eggplant, corn off the cob, red pepper]] [[C) Whole eggplant, corn off the cob, shishitos]] [[D) **slamming fists on picnic table** BEEF BEEF BEEF]] [[Actually, corn isn't a vegetable.]]

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Go fuck yaself. [[How'd I do?]]

Round 5: Speed Round QUICK: [[A) FLIP]] [[B) ROTATE]] [[C) TURN TO FRIEND AND SAY, "YOU THINK IT'S DONE?"]] [[D) POKE WITH GRILL FORK]] (Live: 1s)[3...] (Live: 2s)[2...] (Live: 3s)[1...] (Live: 4s)[''YA LOSE.'' //''NO GRILL MASTER YOU!''//] (Live: 5s)[<a href="https://ibb.co/tbpYk9c"><img src="https://i.ibb.co/Q6vYz4n/Screen-Shot-2020-09-14-at-2-31-59-PM.png" alt="Screen-Shot-2020-09-14-at-2-31-59-PM" border="0"></a>]

''WRONG!'' ''YA LOSE.'' <a href="https://ibb.co/tbpYk9c"><img src="https://i.ibb.co/Q6vYz4n/Screen-Shot-2020-09-14-at-2-31-59-PM.png" alt="Screen-Shot-2020-09-14-at-2-31-59-PM" border="0"></a>

''Sure, correct!'' If you got //all five// questions right and are a certified ''Grill Master'', congratulations! Someone at your barbecue will still complain. Oy! ''YA WIN!' but... 'YA LOSE.' <a href="https://ibb.co/tbpYk9c"><img src="https://i.ibb.co/Q6vYz4n/Screen-Shot-2020-09-14-at-2-31-59-PM.png" alt="Screen-Shot-2020-09-14-at-2-31-59-PM" border="0"></a>

''WRONG!'' ''YA LOSE.'' <a href="https://ibb.co/tbpYk9c"><img src="https://i.ibb.co/Q6vYz4n/Screen-Shot-2020-09-14-at-2-31-59-PM.png" alt="Screen-Shot-2020-09-14-at-2-31-59-PM" border="0"></a>