The Mind-Tech Contingency

You are in a trash-choked alley lit only by the glow of a thousand neon ramenhutch signs. Grease-gray water pisses down from above-- toxic rain, or the runoff of the hyperdense plate city suspended above the hiveshacks? [[But where am I in a broader sense?|dark future]] [[Let's do this]]

It is the dark future of Idle Thumbs 2019, where technology reigns and chaos rules supreme. It's an unfortunate world where there is cyberpunk crap everywhere. [[It me, Video "Games" Rodkin|Let's do this]]

You trudge through the slime, your black mylar hexweave combat boots kicking aside discarded 10mm dataclips like so many dead leaves, the castoffs of a speedculture that uses up and trashes information as fast as it can be generated. [[Examine the area|Vis-Visor]]

Through the overlaid haze of a multisense psychostim projected through your eyeband vis-visor, you spy a Wirebox propped against the base of a rusting codecast signalspanner. [[Jack in]]

You wrench one hand from the pocket of your gunmetal-silver polyfiber bodysleeve and unspool the dialwire from your interskull earjack. With the speed that only comes from a topline blackmarket chemtweak job, you flick the jackbead into the Wirebox commport. [[That topline blackmarket chemtweak job was so worth it|chemtweak]] [[Almost there...|crash]]

Yeah, too bad nobody was here to see how cool that looked. [[Yeah, well, what do I see?|crash]]

A lightningstorm of pure datafeed bitscream crashes across your vis-visor, your consciousness a maelstrom of dialup squealvoice. [["I'm in."]]

"I'm in," you say, modulated through the Lance Henriksen chip slotted in your vox-vocalizer. The Ed Wynn voxfont was fun, but herbert clients will drop more bitcreds if the chrome is right. [[What am I in?|BBS]]

You're in the CryptoNet BBS. Your vis-visor presents a menu of options: [[>SYSOP STATUS|Sysop Status]] [[>JOKES|jokes 2]] [[>PULL DOWN CURRENT INFOBUILD BINARY|Pull down current infobuild binary]] [[>LOG OUT]]

Extremo is on the line. [[MSG EXTREMO|Ping Extremo]] [[RETURN|BBS]]

The requested [[reconst]] code crackles instantaneously across the netgrid.

ENDORSEMENTS [["What?"]] [[RETURN|BBS]]

BORING [["Uh, never mind."]] [[RETURN|BBS]]

I'M LOVING IT [[RETURN|BBS]]

= THERE WERE THOUSANDS OF FLIES BUT I HAVE SEX WITH A LENGTH OF STRING QUARTET [[MORE JOKES|jokes 3]] [[RETURN|BBS]]

YOUR SYSTEM BECOMES OBSESSED WITH MARRYING ITS OWN MOTHERBOARD ATTACK VIRUS HOFFA [[MORE JOKES|jokes 4]] [[RETURN|BBS]]

9600 BAUD FILES RELATED TO FEAR BECAUSE THEY BREAK IN CONVERSATIONS SAYING THINGS LIKE " FUCK OFF THE SYSOP " X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X [[MORE JOKES|jokes 5]] [[Return|BBS]]

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BUTTER AND A BLONDE ARE YOU JUST WANT TO BE A GALLSTONE [[RETURN|BBS]]

(link: "Original text")[(gotourl: "https://www.idlethumbs.net/forums/topic/6984-the-idle-thumbs-podcast-episode-13-day-one-perch/?do=findComment&comment=146805")] by Hot "Scoops" Gaynor (link: "ASCII art")[(gotourl: "https://web.archive.org/web/20091028013825/http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/")] by Joan G. Stark "Jokes" generated with (link: "BOTNIK Predictive Text Writer")[(gotourl: "http://apps.botnik.org/writer/")] based on content from (link: "textfiles.com")[(gotourl: "http://textfiles.com/humor/JOKES/")] Twine and music by (link: "J.D. Cohen")[(gotourl: "https://twitter.com/jd_cohen")], forum name Salacious Snake. Download music at http://music.wieners.xxx

Well, you're back in that shitty alley. [[Log back in|BBS]]

The requested reconst code crackles instantaneously across the netgrid. You [[jack out]] as the Wirebox dotmatrix finishes its reconst job.

The requested reconst code crackles instantaneously across the netgrid. You jack out as the Wirebox dotmatrix finishes its reconst job. You rip the hot [[Screamsheet]] from its carbonslot.

The vis-visor decodes the printed cyberglyphs in realtime. The data enters your brain, where it activates the hyperdank memegrams injected by a back-alley teen biojacker. [[Data complete|arm]]

<html><pre style="line-height:1"> ____ --.__ .'` __/_______ `''------' -'` ______) _______) _______) ..--- jgs -----..___________)</pre></html> Samuel L. Jackson's severed arm. This is not simply a meme: it is a key. And this night is just beginning. [[THE END?|THE END]]

THE END? PS As a member of the Wizard's Circle, I believe I am still entitled to a dinner. (link: "Credits")[(gotourl: "http://wieners.xxx/post/168662257215/the-mind-tech-contingency")]