You are in a trash-choked alley lit only by the glow of a thousand neon ramenhutch signs. Grease-gray water pisses down from above-- toxic rain, or the runoff of the hyperdense plate city suspended above the hiveshacks?
[[But where am I in a broader sense?|dark future]]
[[Let's do this]]It is the dark future of Idle Thumbs 2019, where technology reigns and chaos rules supreme. It's an unfortunate world where there is cyberpunk crap everywhere.
[[It me, Video "Games" Rodkin|Let's do this]]You trudge through the slime, your black mylar hexweave combat boots kicking aside discarded 10mm dataclips like so many dead leaves, the castoffs of a speedculture that uses up and trashes information as fast as it can be generated.
[[Examine the area|Vis-Visor]]Through the overlaid haze of a multisense psychostim projected through your eyeband vis-visor, you spy a Wirebox propped against the base of a rusting codecast signalspanner.
[[Jack in]]You wrench one hand from the pocket of your gunmetal-silver polyfiber bodysleeve and unspool the dialwire from your interskull earjack. With the speed that only comes from a topline blackmarket chemtweak job, you flick the jackbead into the Wirebox commport.
[[That topline blackmarket chemtweak job was so worth it|chemtweak]]
[[Almost there...|crash]]Yeah, too bad nobody was here to see how cool that looked.
[[Yeah, well, what do I see?|crash]]A lightningstorm of pure datafeed bitscream crashes across your vis-visor, your consciousness a maelstrom of dialup squealvoice.
[["I'm in."]]"I'm in," you say, modulated through the Lance Henriksen chip slotted in your vox-vocalizer. The Ed Wynn voxfont was fun, but herbert clients will drop more bitcreds if the chrome is right.
[[What am I in?|BBS]]You're in the CryptoNet BBS. Your vis-visor presents a menu of options:
[[>SYSOP STATUS|Sysop Status]]
[[>PULL DOWN CURRENT INFOBUILD BINARY|Pull down current infobuild binary]]
[[>LOG OUT]]Extremo is on the line.
[[MSG EXTREMO|Ping Extremo]]
[[RETURN|BBS]]The requested [[reconst]] code crackles instantaneously across the netgrid.ENDORSEMENTS
[["Uh, never mind."]]
[[RETURN|BBS]]I'M LOVING IT
[[RETURN|BBS]]= THERE WERE THOUSANDS OF FLIES BUT I HAVE SEX WITH A LENGTH OF STRING QUARTET
[[MORE JOKES|jokes 3]]
[[RETURN|BBS]]YOUR SYSTEM BECOMES OBSESSED WITH MARRYING ITS OWN MOTHERBOARD ATTACK VIRUS HOFFA
[[MORE JOKES|jokes 4]]
[[RETURN|BBS]]9600 BAUD FILES RELATED TO FEAR BECAUSE THEY BREAK IN CONVERSATIONS SAYING THINGS LIKE " FUCK OFF THE SYSOP " X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
[[MORE JOKES|jokes 5]]
[[Return|BBS]]THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BUTTER AND A BLONDE ARE YOU JUST WANT TO BE A GALLSTONE
[[RETURN|BBS]](link: "Original text")[(gotourl: "https://www.idlethumbs.net/forums/topic/6984-the-idle-thumbs-podcast-episode-13-day-one-perch/?do=findComment&comment=146805")] by Hot "Scoops" Gaynor
(link: "ASCII art")[(gotourl:
"https://web.archive.org/web/20091028013825/http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/")] by Joan G. Stark
"Jokes" generated with (link: "BOTNIK Predictive Text Writer")[(gotourl: "http://apps.botnik.org/writer/")] based on content from (link: "textfiles.com")[(gotourl:
Twine and music by (link: "J.D. Cohen")[(gotourl: "https://twitter.com/jd_cohen")], forum name Salacious Snake. Download music at http://music.wieners.xxxWell, you're back in that shitty alley.
[[Log back in|BBS]]The requested reconst code crackles instantaneously across the netgrid.
You [[jack out]] as the Wirebox dotmatrix finishes its reconst job.The requested reconst code crackles instantaneously across the netgrid.
You jack out as the Wirebox dotmatrix finishes its reconst job.
You rip the hot [[Screamsheet]] from its carbonslot. The vis-visor decodes the printed cyberglyphs in realtime. The data enters your brain, where it activates the hyperdank memegrams injected by a back-alley teen biojacker.
<html><pre style="line-height:1"> ____
--.__ .'` __/_______
`''------' -'` ______)
..--- jgs -----..___________)</pre></html>
Samuel L. Jackson's severed arm. This is not simply a meme: it is a key. And this night is just beginning.
[[THE END?|THE END]]THE END?
PS As a member of the Wizard's Circle, I believe I am still entitled to a dinner.
(link: "Credits")[(gotourl: "http://wieners.xxx/post/168662257215/the-mind-tech-contingency")]