<<set $virginity = 0>>\s\n<<set $married2 = 0>>\s\n<<set $men = 1>>\s\n"Marriage is for men," you say, quietly. "Most do not marry for love; your mother wants to wed you, you don't want to be married, do you?" You reconsider your words. "To marry for love is only achieved through marriage to Him. His embrace is pure, untainted by--"\n\n<<Senses>>
<<set $bloodflesh = 0>>\s\n<<set $breastmilk = 0>>\s\n<<set $knowledge = 1>>\s\n"Knowledge," you say. "In the form of manna."\n\n"What knowledge?" The vicar asks.\n\nYou try to find the words, but settle on different ones: "Vicar Locke," you begin, "I would like to altar my diet."\n\nThe vicar turns to you. "In what way, <<$Name>>?"\n\n"I would like to fast. I need no sustenance beyond comprehension."\n\nThe vicar nods his head. "Anything else?"\n\nYou pause to reflect. "Perhaps also the eucharist."\n\n<<RelationshipAdvice>>
"<<$Name>>?" The young woman suddenly asks.\n\n"Yes?"\n\n"Do you really have to do four hours of prayer a day?"\n\nYou bite your lip. "I choose to worship many more."\n\nThe young woman looks nervous. "Will God forgive me?"\n\n"For what, child?"\n\n"I don't know. Everything." She scratches her head. "Will all be well?"\n\n[[Yes.|GodGood]]\n\n[[No.|GodUngood]]
<<set $fourteen = 0>>\s\n<<set $thirtyone = 0>>\s\n<<set $fiftyeight = 0>>\s\n<<set $canreadwrite = 0>>\s\n<<set $cannotreadwrite = 0>>\s\n<<set $catherine = 0>>\s\n<<set $juliana = 0>>\s\n<<set $margaret = 0>>\s\n<<set $married = 0>>\s\n<<set $sight = 0>>\s\n<<set $bird = 0>>\s\n<<set $bloodflesh = 0>>\s\n<<set $breastmilk = 0>>\s\n<<set $knowledge = 0>>\s\n<<set $virginity = 0>>\s\n<<set $married2 = 0>>\s\n<<set $men = 0>>\s\n<<set $attimes = 0>>\s\n<<set $mostoften = 0>>\s\n<<set $always = 0>>\s\n<<set $godgood = 0>>\s\n<<set $godungood = 0>>\s\nThis is an educational story, of a fictional anchoress.\n\nYou will make decisions regarding her reasons for becoming an anchoress, as well as her beliefs. You will see how these result at the end; this story is tailored to your choices.\n\nI recommend playing through once, then going through again to see all the outcomes. You can change your choices, and even name, mid-session-- but it will wipe all choices following the one you changed, meaning you will need to remake those decisions.\n\nI hope you enjoy. Good luck with your anchoress application!\n\n\n\n<<Namer>>
.passage .title { display: none; }
<<set $godgood = 0>>\s\n<<set $godungood = 1>>\s\nThe plague comes immediately to mind. "That is up to us, my child. He loves us, but He also made Hell for us. We should remember that fear, as well as that love. Just as Soul's Ward tells."\n\nThe young woman seems uncomfortable with this answer. "Okay," she says, and you don't know what to add.\n\n<<HeShe>>
<<set $married = 0>>\s\n<<set $sight = 0>>\s\n<<set $bird = 1>>\s\n"I had a vision of a caged bird, and it was in flight."\n\nThe vicar tilts his head. "Are you certain that--"\n\nPerhaps too passionately, you interrupt: "Did you not teach us that our souls soar beyond our body? If I am as a bird, did you not intend that I am to know beyond my holdings, even in enclosure?"\n\n<<ChristFeeding>>
You tense up.\n\nThe vicar puts the quill down. "This is not part of the process. I am simply asking. To be able to put in a good word," he smiles. "Perhaps a favorite saint?"\n\n[[St. Catherine of Alexandria.|Catherine]]\n\n[[St. Juliana of Nicomedia.|Juliana]]\n\n[[St. Margaret of Antioch.|Margaret]]
You notice the young woman's blank stare.\n\nYou recall a story taught to you by the vicar. "Have you heard of the Soul's Ward?"\n\nUnsurprisingly, the young woman shakes her head.\n\n"Wit is married to Will, but Will and their servants, the Senses, are unruly. Wit must rely on his daughters-- Prudence, Righteousness, Strength, and Temperance-- to bring Will and the Senses back into His graces. With the help of Fear and Love teaching them about Hell and Heaven, they succeed. But it is in part because of the virginal purity of the daughters, that--"\n\n"What's wrong with Will?"\n\n"Er, well, Will sometimes wants things that are bad."\n\n"What's wrong with the senses?"\n\nYou falter. "It's kind of the same--"\n\n"Are the senses always bad?"\n\n[[At times.|AtTimes]]\n\n[[Most often.|MostOften]]\n\n[[Always.|Always]]
<<set $godgood = 1>>\s\n<<set $godungood = 0>>\s\n"Yes," you say with a smile. "The burdens we bear here are but part of the process toward heaven. Sins and Hell are all part of a grand plan for us."\n\n"Good," the girl says, and you can hear the relief.\n\n<<HeShe>>
<<set $canreadwrite = 1>>\s\n<<set $cannotreadwrite = 0>>\s\n"Yes," you say. You almost add, "of course," but you catch yourself.\n\nThe vicar nods, with a smile. "It would be a shame if someone of your position could not. Do you have a favorite text?"\n\n<<FavoriteText>>
<<set $canreadwrite = 0>>\s\n<<set $cannotreadwrite = 1>>\s\n"No," you say softly.\n\nThe vicar clears his throat. "Yes. Well. I suppose you will need to learn. I know you haven't had as many opportunities as..." He rubs the back of his neck as he writes. "Do you at least have a favorite story?"\n\n<<FavoriteText>>
A smile grows on the vicar's face. "Yes, I suppose I did."\n\nThe tension throughout your body unfurls, ever so slightly, but you feel His presence taking its place.\n\nThe vicar reads over the parchment, and the silence makes you so nervous you could be sick. You swallow hard: You will have to become used to this. You remind yourself that He is with you, even now. This helps. "Alright," the vicar says slowly. "It looks as if all is in order. I will send this right away, and we will see what happens," he says with a smile. "I wouldn't worry, though, <<$Name>>. I know of no one who questions your devotion."\n\nYou say nothing, and your stomach churns harder. You tell yourself it's because of hunger, another thing you must prepare yourself to get used to.\n\n\n\n!!!''Seven months later''\n\n"I had a vision of hunger," you speak through your cell's window into the church.\n\nThe vicar nods slowly, still looking away, at the cross you know is there from memory, but can no longer see. "What was this vision, <<$Name>>?"\n\n"I saw Christ, and he had given to feed me."\n\nThe vicar doesn't break his gaze, but his head turns slightly toward you. "What sustenance?"\n\n[[His blood and flesh.|BloodFlesh]]\n\n[[His breastmilk.|Breastmilk]]\n\n[[Knowledge.|Knowledge]]
<<set $catherine = 0>>\s\n<<set $juliana = 0>>\s\n<<set $margaret = 1>>\s\n"St. Margaret of Antioch," You say, with a faint smile.\n\n"Right, right," the vicar replies. "Daughter of..."\n\n"Aedesius."\n\n"Betrothed to..."\n\n"Olybrius," you add, a little too quickly. "But she chose HIM instead, she fought Satan, and at her death--"\n\n"A miracle saved her, then she was beheaded with the converted crowd, yes." A beat. "Is this the story where Satan takes the form of a golden dragon?"\n\n"And swallows her, but the cross--"\n\n"Makes the dragon ill, yes," the vicar waves his hand. "I always get her confused with the other two."\n\nYou open your mouth to speak, but instead offer a smile.\n\n<<Reason>>
"I only have one more question," the vicar says, clasping his hands together. Why do you want to become an anchoress?"\n\nYou stare blankly. "I thought..."\n\n"You have made it clear you wish to, yes. This is an honorable undertaking, but also a daunting one." The vicar readjusts himself in his seat as though uncomfortble. "This is not for everyone, <<$Name>>. We express our devotion in different ways. Living out the rest of your days in a cell, only accessing the outside world through windows... Well. It is a true way to reach God, but I only wish to know that your intents are ...definite." He pauses, and his exhale fills the room with the sound of, as you experience it, resignation. "<<$Name>>, why do you wish to become an anchoress?"\n\n[[I am wed to Him.|Married]]\n\n[[I do not wish to tempt or be tempted by sight.|Sight]]\n\n[[I had a vision of a caged bird.|Bird]]
"Do you want to know a secret about Him?"\n\nThe young woman leans even closer, pressing her face against the window and almost blocking out all of the light.\n\nYou whisper, "He is not only a he. He is our father, but also our creator and that which sustains us, so He is our mother, as well."\n\nThe young woman's eyes go wide. "Really?"\n\n"Yes. He is all things," you say with reverential awe. Your smile fades as you add, "But perhaps you should keep that between you and I, for right now."\n\nThe young woman grins and runs off. You realize you don't know if she intends to wed. Rather than watch her go, as you initially wish to do, you sit in the corner, moving the apple the young woman had given you out of your grasp. You close your eyes and try to hear what's inside you besides breath.\n\n\n\n<<Summary>>
jquery:off\nhash:off\nbookmark:on\nmodernizr:off\nundo:on\nobfuscate:off\nexitprompt:off\nblankcss:off\n
<<set $attimes = 0>>\s\n<<set $mostoften = 0>>\s\n<<set $always = 1>>\s\n"Always," you say without a trace of doubt. "The senses only serve to distract. We may only glimpse His full glory in ourselves, after deep worship and removal from the outside world. It is through love, not thought, that we may know Him. We cannot comprehend His love, but sometimes, we may feel it fully."\n\nThe young woman looks a little upset. "Okay."\n\nYou tuck some hair behind your ear while you think. Then you try again. "You know of Christ's Passion?"\n\nThe young woman shivers. "Yes."\n\n"Well, you shouldn't focus on His earthly pain, but his heavenly joy." You smile, and so does she.\n\n<<God>>
The vicar finds his quill and writes your name. "Only formality," the vicar explains. "I know you, <<$Name>>, but the Bishop of Winchester does not." He looks at what he's written and squints his eyes. "Hopefully, the Bishop of Winchester will believe someone would name their daughter <<$Name>>," he mumbles to himself.\n\nYou begin to tap your fingers together nervously, then stop.\n\n"Alright," the vicar continues, "what is your age?"\n\n[[14.|14YrsOld]]\n\n[[31.|31YrsOld]]\n\n[[58.|58YrsOld]]
<<set $married = 1>>\s\n<<set $sight = 0>>\s\n<<set $bird = 0>>\s\n"I am wed to Him," you say, "and meant for no one else."\n\nThe vicar tilts his head. "Strictly speaking,--"\n\nPerhaps too passionately, you interrupt: "Did you not teach us that our souls are married to Him? And that He comes before any mortal man?"\n\n<<ChristFeeding>>
Derek Dashiell
!!!''Seven hundred years later''\n\nProfessor Rosemary O'Neill\nAnchoresses and Archetypes\n5 May 2015\n\n!!!!''<<$Name>>: Transcendent or Trolling?''\n\nThere are few people, even specialists, for whom the name <<$Name>> of Exeter will hold any significance. She remains with us not for her theological or historical importance, but for the unusually complete record of her life that she leaves behind.\n\n<<$Name>> of Exeter entered into the anchoritic lifestyle at <<if $fourteen is 1>>the young age of fourteen. This suggests that if she wasn't actively attempting to escape matrimony, then it was at least a not unpleasant side-effect of her decision. <<else if $thirtyone is 1>>thirty one, thirty one and-a-half if you choose to follow her theological writings over church records. This was unusual for women of this age, which suggests that she was either already involved with the church as a nun, never wed-- or lost her family. <<else if $fiftyeight is 1>>fifty eight. It was not uncommon for older women to decide to finish their days as an anchoress, especially widowed ones, but this was very close to the life expectancy age. <<endif>><<if $canreadwrite is 1>><<$Name>> of Exeter could read and write from a young age, and this recorded fact is why many suspect that most anchoresses came from priveleged backgrounds. She seems to have been well read, if mostly in religious parables. <<else if $cannotreadwrite is 1>>Possibly unusually, <<$Name>> of Exeter could not read or write upon entering the anchoritic life, and had to be taught. This fact, if not refuting the common notion that anchoresses were often from priveleged backgrounds, at least challenges the claim. All the same, she seems to have been well-versed in religious parables, even from a young age. <<endif>>For instance, she once noted that she loved the story of St. <<if $catherine is 1>>Catherine of Alexandria<<else if $juliana is 1>>Juliana of Nicomedia<<else if $margaret is 1>>Margaret of Antioch<<endif>>, which we know best of all from the Katherine group, as part of a trio of similar female saints. Ironically, it seems that while <<$Name>> of Exeter loved this story, she frequetly mixed up details of the three saints.\n\n<<$Name>> of Exeter's theology wasn't unique, but it was insightful as to the mindset of an anchoress. She seems to have been driven into the anchoritic life by <<if $married is 1>>her belief that her soul was married to Christ, and that no man should come before him, just as the Katherine trilogy stories suggest, a belief reflected in the Ancrene Wisse. This is <<if $married2 is 1>>corraborated by <<else>>in addition to <<endif>><<else if $sight is 1>>her belief that sight was central to all sin. She would rather see than be seen, but to avoid both, she found refuge in the anchoritic life, as the Ancrene Wisse suggests. She seemed to be against marriage as well, reflected in <<else if $bird is 1>>a vision, or series of visions, of a bird flying around a cage. The Ancrene Wisse often links anchoresses to birds, not to mention the plethora of religious and literary works linking women to birds, and she took this as a sign. She seemed to be against marriage as well, reflected in <<endif>>her writings elsewhere that <<if $virginity is 1>>virginity is sacred, and protects us from the impurities of the world, holding us closer to our original form and away from the tainted orignal sin. Holy Maidenhood, a religious tract on the subject, makes similar claims. <<else if $married2 is 1>>earthly marriage is simply a sensual distraction from God, a combination of Ancrene Wisse and Holy Maidenhood beliefs. <<else if $men is 1>>marriage is a tool of men, not out of love for women; while this is reflected in Holy Maidenhood, her occasional split from religious discussion to espouse on the unfairness of marriage was ahead of its time-- if often underdeveloped. <<endif>>\n\nHer interactions with the world were limited at best, beyond the advice she gave Exeter's locals and her writings. Following what appeared to be a single, fruitful vision, <<$Name>> of Exeter turned to a diet of exclusively <<if $bloodflesh is 1>>the eucharist; a not uncommon belief that Christ's body could sustain was shared by several religious figures, mostly hermetic women, such as Catherine of Siena. <<else if $breastmilk is 1>>food brought from the locals seeking spiritual guidance. It seems she had a vision of breastfeeding from Christ, common amongst women (famously in the writings of Julian of Norwich), but just where she decided this meant foregoing the eucharist for earthly food is unclear; perhaps she interpreted the breastfeeding as bodily, and thus earthly. <<else if $knowledge is 1>>knowledge, as she claimed, and occasionally the eucharist. In all likelyhood, this is an apocryphal exaggeration, though not an unheard of one; a not uncommon belief that Christ's body could sustain was shared by several religious figures, mostly hermetic women, such as Catherine of Siena. <<endif>>In addition, <<$Name>> of Exeter wrote at length on the subject of the senses, citing the story of the Soul's Ward. Her central belief was that <<if $atttimes is 1>>we are meant to experience life's joys, if not its sins, a very middle-of-the-road philosophy not reflected much elsewhere-- a more reasonable version of Rolle's writings, perhaps. <<else if $mostoften is 1>>while both physical and mental understanding of God were important, mental took precedence. She elaborates at this on length saying we exist in both realms, but the physical is primarily a means to reaching the mental's full potential-- her writings seem influenced by, if not wholesale lifted from, the Scale of Perfection. <<else if $always is 1>>the only way to truly know God is to remove onesself from the physical world as much as possible, and only glimpse him through moments of love. The retreat into onesself, as described here, is repeated in several other works, most strikingly (and similarly) in the Cloud of Unknowing. <<endif>>\n\n<<$Name>> of Exeter held that <<if $godgood is 1>>all would be well, a sentiment borrowed from Julian of Norwich. Like Julian, our anchoress survived plague, making this theology even more potent. She seems to have relished her time enclosed; she never attempted to escape, as Catherine of Shere did, and just before she passed at 64, she wrote on her joy. <<else if $godungood is 1>>the Catholic church's interpretation of fire and brimstone was accurate, falling back to referencing the Soul's Ward often. This is understandable, given the plague she survived as a child. After a year of enclosure, the church holds records of an attempted escape, but it was halfhearted; whatever the attempt was (digging, breaking down the wall, it remains unrecorded), she never fully left the cell. Just before she passed, at age 64, her writings seem to indicate satisfaction with her life. <<endif>>Like many other anchoresses, such as Julian of Norwich, she believed that God and Christ were both father and mother, both man and woman. Ultimately, because <<$Name>> of Exeter's writings were so inwardly focused, and not outwardly attacking institutions or practices, her writings were able to survive. They seem to be mainly an amalgamation of other religious figures, but they are unique in their combination.\n\n<<$Name>> of Exeter was an important, if oft forgotten figure. Most of all, she is emblamatic of everything anchoresses were; a strong representative, if you will. The ideal case-study.\n\n\n\n!!!''Thank you for playing!''\n[[!!!!Works Cited|WorksCited]]
Anchoress
"Actual Letters from the Church at Shere." //Guide for Anchoress.// Boston University, n.d. Web. 09 Mar. 2015.\n\n//Anchoress.// Dir. Chris Newby. By Judith Stanley-Smith and Christine Watkins. Perf. Natalie Morse and Gene Bervoets. British Film Institute, 1993. DVD.\n\nBynum, Caroline W. //Holy Feast and Holy Fast: The Religious Significance of Food to Medieval Women.// Berkeley, CA: Univ. of California, 1988. Print.\n\nHilton, Walter. "The Scale of Perfection: Introduction | Robbins Library Digital Projects." //The Scale of Perfection: Introduction | Robbins Library Digital Projects.// University of Rochester, n.d. Web. 09 Mar. 2015.\n\nJulian, Elizabeth Spearing, and A. C. Spearing. //Revelations of Divine Love (short Text and Long Text).// London: Penguin, 1998. Print.\n\nLancaster, Henry O. //Expectations of Life: A Study in the Demography, Statistics, and History of World Mortality.// New York, NY: Springer, 1990. Print.\n\nMcAvoy, Liz Herbert. //A Companion to Julian of Norwich.// Cambridge: D.S. Brewer, 2008. Print.\n\nMillett, Bella. //Ancrene Wisse: Guide for Anchoresses: A Translation Based on Cambridge, Corpus Christi College, MS 402.// Exeter: U of Exeter, 2009. Print.\n\nMillett, Bella, and Jocelyn Wogan-Browne. //Medieval English Prose for Women: Selections from the Katherine Group and Ancrene Wisse.// Oxford: Clarendon, 1990. Print.\n\nMillett, Bella. //Hali Meidhad.// London: Published for the Early English Text Society by the Oxford UP, 1982. Print.\n\nSpearing, A. C. //The Cloud of Unknowing and Other Works.// London: Penguin, 2001. Print.\n\n"St. Catherine of Alexandria - Saints & Angels - Catholic Online." //St. Catherine of Alexandria - Saints & Angels - Catholic Online.// Catholic Online, n.d. Web. 09 Mar. 2015.\n\n"SAINT JULIANA OF NICOMEDIA." //St Juliana Catholic Church.// N.p., n.d. Web. 09 Mar. 2015.\n\n"St. Margaret of Antioch - Saints & Angels - Catholic Online." //St. Margaret of Antioch - Saints & Angels - Catholic Online.// Catholic Online, n.d. Web. 09 Mar. 2015.
<<set $bloodflesh = 1>>\s\n<<set $breastmilk = 0>>\s\n<<set $knowledge = 0>>\s\n"His blood and His flesh," you say. "He gave unto me the eucharist from his own body."\n\n"The eucharist," the vicar replies.\n\n"Vicar Locke," you begin, "I would like to altar my diet."\n\nThe vicar turns to you. "In what way, <<$Name>>?"\n\n"I would like to partake only in the eucharist for sustenance. I only need His feeding."\n\nThe vicar nods his head. "Anything else?"\n\nYou pause to reflect. "Perhaps a daily portion of water, as well."\n\n<<RelationshipAdvice>>
<<set $fourteen = 1>>\s\n<<set $thirtyone = 0>>\s\n<<set $fiftyeight = 0>>\s\n"Fourteen," you say, and the vicar notes this.\n\n"And I don't believe you are betrothed to anyone."\n\nYou don't say anything.\n\nThe vicar looks up. "Is that correct, <<$Name>>?\n\n"Yes," you say quickly.\n\nHe nods, and then continues to write. "Then there are no prior commitments to be concerned about."\n\nYou bite your lip.\n\n<<ReadWrite>>
A beat. "I meant, <<$Name>>, is there anything else you wish to discuss?"\n\n"Not today."\n\nThe vicar rose and walked toward the cross he'd been inspecting. You sit, looking down, going over the vision in your head again, trying to decide if you had missed something--\n\n"<<$Name>>?"\n\nYour contemplation is interrupted by a voice outside the cell. You go to the window facing the outside world. A young woman, perhaps just hitting puberty, stands outside the window, her face too close to the screen.\n\nYou move to stand next to the window, close to her but against the wall, so as to be out of view. "Yes, child?"\n\nThe young woman hands an apple through the window. As customary, you take it and set it on the ground near your feet. "<<$Name>>, I wanted your advice about something."\n\nYou say nothing, waiting for her to continue, as you have made customary of your council with Exeter's locals.\n\n"Mother is talking about me getting married soon." A beat. "I don't know if I want to get married. What do you think?"\n\nYou pause to consider. This girl's mother may not take kindly to your advice, as strongly held as it is. "We must choose our own paths--"\n\nThe young woman repositions herself in the clover-shaped window to see your face, defeating the purpose of the screen. You sigh, exasperated, knowing there's no chance that she's concerned by this. "Yeah, but, how did you chose? Why didn't you want to get married?"\n\n[[Virginity is a virtue.|Virginity]]\n\n[[I was already married to Him.|Married2]]\n\n[[Marriage is for men.|Men]]
<<set $virginity = 0>>\s\n<<set $married2 = 1>>\s\n<<set $men = 0>>\s\n"I was already married to Him," you exlpain. "In my soul. I don't have a need for a romantic relationship with a mere mortal, when His love surpasses any man. A man's love will only distract, because his kind of love, well, ...it distracts. You see..."\n\n<<Senses>>
<<set $virginity = 1>>\s\n<<set $married2 = 0>>\s\n<<set $men = 0>>\s\n"Virginity is a virtue," you explain, "a dear one. Once we have indulged in the physical world's vices, it is very hard to forget them, and to learn of His--"\n\n<<Senses>>
<<set $attimes = 0>>\s\n<<set $mostoften = 1>>\s\n<<set $always = 0>>\s\n"Most often," you begin, "yes." You try to collect your words properly in your head before speaking. "We must know Him in our bodies, and in our minds, but most of all our minds. The world's light is a distraction from true light of knowledge; that can only be attained in darkness, in your own mind. But we must balance our bodies and our minds; our light, fake light, can help us to understand His true light."\n\nThe young woman looked lost. "So, our world is fake."\n\nA beat. "No." You tuck some hair behind your ear while you think. "It's just not Heaven; it's not what you should try to attain. You cannot simply know Him; you must believe in Him completely. You can only do this inside yourself."\n\n<<God>>
<<set $fourteen = 0>>\s\n<<set $thirtyone = 0>>\s\n<<set $fiftyeight = 1>>\s\n"Fifty eight," you say wearily, and the vicar notes this.\n\n"You likely won't be enclosed for long," the vicar says, mostly to himself. Catching himself, he looks up at you. "That is fine, though. It is never too late to find Christ." He continues to write. "Your husband's passing is in recent records, so they will see you have no other obligations than to the church."\n\nYou bite your tongue.\n\n<<ReadWrite>>
"I trust, as well, that you have learned how to read and write?" he continues.\n\n[[Yes.|CanReadWrite]]\n\n[[No.|CannotReadWrite]]
<<set $catherine = 0>>\s\n<<set $juliana = 1>>\s\n<<set $margaret = 0>>\s\n"St. Juliana of Nicomedia," You say, with a faint smile.\n\n"Right, right," the vicar replies. "Daughter of..."\n\n"Africanus."\n\n"Betrothed to..."\n\n"Eulasius," you add, a little too quickly. "But she chose HIM instead, she fought Satan, and at her death--"\n\n"A miracle saved her, then she was beheaded with the converted crowd, yes." A beat. "Is this the story where her hair is pulled out?"\n\n"And she's stripped--"\n\n"Yes, yes," the vicar waves his hand. "I always get her confused with the other two."\n\nYou open your mouth to speak, but instead offer a smile.\n\n<<Reason>>\n\n
<<set $catherine = 1>>\s\n<<set $juliana = 0>>\s\n<<set $margaret = 0>>\s\n"St. Catherine of Alexandria," You say, with a faint smile.\n\n"Right, right," the vicar replies. "Daughter of..."\n\n"Costus."\n\n"Betrothed to..."\n\n"Maxentius," you add, a little too quickly. "But she chose HIM instead, she challenged the marriage, and at her death--"\n\n"A miracle saved her, then she was beheaded with the converted crowd, yes." A beat. "Is this the story where she would only wed a man who surpassed her?"\n\n"And no man did except--"\n\n"Except Christ, yes," the vicar waves his hand. "I always get her confused with the other two."\n\nYou open your mouth to speak, but instead offer a smile.\n\n<<Reason>>
<<set $fourteen = 0>>\s\n<<set $thirtyone = 1>>\s\n<<set $fiftyeight = 0>>\s\n"Thirty one," you say, and the vicar notes this. "And a half," you quickly add.\n\nThe vicar looks up, his eyebrows raised, and looks back down, amused. "Indeed you are." He doesn't note this. "The church has records of your husband and child's fate," he says, beginning to write again, "so there is confirmation that you have no ...outstanding commitments."\n\nYou bite the inside of your cheek.\n\n<<ReadWrite>>
<<set $attimes = 1>>\s\n<<set $mostoften = 0>>\s\n<<set $always = 0>>\s\n"At times," you say slowly. "They can be. The world is God's gift to us, and to take pleasure in this world is to know his love. Yet there is sin, too. You must learn to discern His gifts and Satan's traps."\n\n"How?"\n\nYou tuck some hair behind your ear while you think. You don't know, so you suggest, "Usually, you may simply ask yourself, does this make life better for all involved?"\n\n<<God>>
!!!''A long time ago''\n\nThe room is silent, save the lingering echoes of the 9am church bells and the rustle of the vicar's parchments. You sit as still as you can, trying not to find pleasure in the bells' diatonic scale. The sound of your own breath is somewhat calming in its regularity, and this makes you wish you could not hear it: Your very body is trying to distract you from Him.\n\nThe vicar looks up from his work to you. He lays his parchment as flat as the curled edges allow and searches his desktop for a quill. As he does so, he asks, "What is your name?"\n\n<<textinput $Name [[, you say.|Age]]>>
<<set $married = 0>>\s\n<<set $sight = 1>>\s\n<<set $bird = 0>>\s\n"I do not wish to tempt, or be tempted, by sight."\n\nThe vicar tilts his head. "Is that enough of a reason--"\n\nPerhaps too passionately, you interrupt: "Did you not teach us that our sight is a distraction from our knowledge of Him? And that as a woman, it is worse for me to be seen than to see?"\n\n<<ChristFeeding>>
<<set $bloodflesh = 0>>\s\n<<set $breastmilk = 1>>\s\n<<set $knowledge = 0>>\s\n"His milk," you say. "He cradled my mouth to his breast."\n\nA pause. "I see," the vicar replies. He seems more tense, and as though his mind is going elsewhere.\n\n"Vicar Locke," you begin, "I would like to altar my diet."\n\nThe vicar turns to you. "In what way, <<$Name>>?"\n\n"I would like to only partake in the food the people of Exeter donate. I believe I am meant to partake of food of the body and the earth."\n\nThe vicar nods his head. "Anything else?"\n\nYou pause to reflect. "Perhaps not human milk."\n\n<<RelationshipAdvice>>